The Shoot
by pursuitofirony
Summary: Warning: this contains real life shipping (I borrowed this from Richonnelandfill lol), do not enter if you're not into that. The EW photoshoot takes a smutty, thrilling, emotional turn.
1. Chapter 1

**Author: If you've made it to this author note, well bloop there it is. This is a Dandy fic, and it contains some controversial themes (adultery), so I advise you to leave if you're not into this. This is controversial, so I expect negative comments, that's fine. Leave whatever makes you comfortable. This is fiction.**

 **The Shoot**

"C'mon, Andy, live a little!" Norman chided his best friend Andy, as he pushed a glass of champagne towards him.

"Norman, you know I don't drink," Andy insisted, pushing the glass back.

"Just one glass," Norman pushed the glass back.

"I don't think that's a -"

" - Hey, boys," came Danai's light voice. Andy's eyes whipped up towards her, taking her in. His eyes found themselves trailing slowly down, from her glowing, sultry face, to her rounded breasts, which nearly busted out of her top, to her ample hips. He could scarcely form words at the sight of her, his pants immediately going tight. He found himself shifting uncomfortable, as an at ease Norman glided towards her. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Nothing to important, just trying to get Mr. Goody two shoes to drink," Norman explained, as Andy flushed red.

"Andy being a good boy? I don't believe it," she teased, pressing her breasts together as she took a seat next to him on the couch.

"I can be a good boy if I want to," he teased back, quickly growing comfortable with her confident, yet foward advances.

"I've never seen that side of you before, you'll have to show it more," she went on, sliding closer to him on the couch, as Andy's mouth popped open, mesmerized.

"I'll show it to you," he relented, moving his arm to wrap around her back, pulling her closer.

"Do you two need a room?" Melissa asked, appearing out of nowhere.

The startled pair break apart, as if hit by an invisible bolt of electricity, flushed and embarrassed at how quickly things escalated between them. Ever since they'd had sex several months ago, and then more sex after that, it was as though it had unleashed something primal within the pair and as much as they tried, they'd hooked up nearly ten times, each time promising themselves that they'd never do that again, but unable to contain the urge to rip each other's clothes off and simply go at it.

The cast had witnessed one of the times, as they'd gotten carried away in their trailer after a particularly sexual scene; the sounds emanating from the trailer within.

"I don't think that I can bare to hear you say 'daddy, fuck me,' again, sweetheart," Melissa teased, sipping on her glass of wine.

"I can!" Norman chimed in eagerly.

Danai flushed, embarrassed that anyone had even heard her heat of the moment confession. "That was one time."

"One time is enough," Melissa said.

"Enough for what?" Lauren questioned, the green eyed beauty slided over to Danai on the couch, taking a seat on her other side.

"Oh, we're just talking about that time that we heard them having sex -"

" - We weren't having sex...that time," Danai flushed, wanting to die on the spot.

"If you wanted me to get drunk, you succeeded," Andy said, gulping down his wine in one swoop, as Norman poured another and handed it to him.

"That's the spirit!" Norman cheered.

 _ **4 hours later**_

" _Daddy, fuck me_ ," Danai moaned, as Andy furiously pumped into her from behind.

He had her bent over the table in the living room of her apartment, her red dress ripped apart and scattered all over the floor; he'd been a savage, recklessly destroying the dress, that he'd bought from the photoshoot. She remembers getting so turned on when he'd marched over to the photographer and sternly asked them how much her dress costed, and how he'd tripple the cost. The photographer told the set designer, who relented quickly.

And now, here she was, butt naked and bent over at his whim, which was something she secretly loved. In public, she was Danai Gurira, master's degree having, award winning playwright and actress, but with Andy, she was just a woman who wanted to be loved and dominated in the most primal of ways.

She felt him slip out of her, which caused her to whimper, but when she saw his face, she nearly came on the spot. His curls were soaked with sweat, his blue eyes were darkened and hard, the features on his face were unlike how she'd ever seen them, so tainted with lust and that domineering hardness. It was a side of him that only came out in the bedroom. Usually, to others, Andy was giving, kind, and a bit goofy; he stumbled over his toes sometimes while dancing with her in public, but in private he glided across the room with perfect rhythm. In front of their friends, he was the good boy, who rarely acted out, but with her, he was reckless, coming undone like a wrapped up piece of rope.

And now, she was at his mercy as those eyes of his burned tingling holes all over her naked body, her nipples hardening, and her center growing so wet that she drenched the surface beneath her. She wanted him, so bad.

"Come on...," she nearly begged him.

"In the bedroom you call me Daddy, darling," he demanded sternly.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," her voice leaked with subservient submission, submitting to such a grown man turned her unlike anything else.

Andy wasn't like any of the boys she'd dated in her twenties or early thirties, he was a man. The greying beard and temples, those wrinkles around his eyes, the curls that bounced around his face, the confidence that he had when they were together intimately. It was something she'd always wanted, and no other man could compare to that.

She felt his hand cup her breasts, the fabric of her torn dress still hanging off his body, but instead of ripping the rest off, he tenderly removed it from her frame, disposing of it on the floor.

"It was a bit silly to spend six thousand dollars on this dress only to rip it off you," he joked.

"I didn't tell you to rip it apart, I could've worn this again," she protested, wrapping her legs around his middle as she pulled him closer.

"Where could you have possibly worn it?"

"I could've worn it to an event, premiere..."

"Without me there?" He quirked his eyebrows up and pouted, those pink lips pursing.

She kissed them, unable to resist. "You have your wife at home...I'm otherwise unspoken for..."

"Danai," he breathed out, removing his tie and blazer, and then his shirt.

His creamy white skin was splotched with red, his face nearly maroon. But, he was also filled with dread, because he'd realize that he didn't just want to screw her brains out, or have such a beautiful woman adorn his bed. He could easily do that, he'd had tons of offers, but this was different.

This was real, and he didn't know how to explain to her that he couldn't bare it if she was with another man. It was selfish; it wasn't right, but it was how he felt. And feelings, feelings could be a bit selfish.

"I don't want her, I want you," he admitted. "When I'm with her, you're all I'm thinking about, when my daughter asks me about work, I'm heartbroken because it's not her mother that I want to be with anymore, and she's older now. She's asked questions, and I don't want," she saw him slip to the floor, where her torn dress lay, and she held him. "I know that makes me a shitty man..."

"It doesn't make you shitty," Danai assured him.

"I never - it's not my intention to hurt you, to shag you and just leave. I don't do shit like that," he insisted. "It's more with us."

"I know, it is more," she told him, peering into his crystal blue depths. "Otherwise, I would have never done this."

"It would kill me to see you with somebody else, but if that made you happy...," he trailed off to the feel of her lips on his.

"You make me happy," she said, a bright smile on her face.

She saw him breathe in deeply, as he wrapped himself further into himself; she wanted to know all about him now. Why was someone so handsome so insecure? How had he been hurt? Did he think that he didnt deserve anything better?

"Is it okay if I tell you that I love you?" He suddenly asked her, vulnerable and quiet.

"No," she answered quickly, too quickly.

"We've talked about this before, but the last time I told Gael that I loved her, Matilda was seven," he admitted. "I admit to not being the best husband."

"Marriage is rough, you did your best," once again, she assured him.

"I just don't know if I deserve you," he finally admitted what was on his heart and mind since they'd began this affair, since the first time he'd felt what it was like to be with someone like her.

"If I wanted to be with someone else, I would be," she said.

"I know that, I just -"

" - No pity parties, no bullshit, none of that, you're no longer allowed to say or feel that way, and if you do, we'll talk about it. I do have a degree in psychology and am willing to take you on free of charge," she flashed those pearly whites at him.

"Then counsel me," Andy suddenly turns eager. "It can be like role play. You'll be a sexy psychiatrist, and I'll be..."

"My trouble patient named Rick," she giggles and then winks at him.

"I'm stuck in a loveless marriage and you've helped heal me, with the warmth of your heart and the warmth of your walls," he said.

Danai cringed. "You're lucky I've already slept with you, or that comment would've made me stop."

"You love me."

"No, I don't think I do."

"You do."

As he said this, his bright eyes glimmered a bit, as he giggled and grabbed her, placing her over his shoulder and carrying her to the room. It was then that she realized why she fell for him. It wasn't his looks, it wasn't their chemistry, she thinks that it's his love of love, his spontaneity, his ability to make her feel so happier. Happier than she's ever felt.

"I do," she finally relented, as he let her body fall to the sheets below them.

He began to nuzzle her neck, sucking and biting at it. "Why?"

"Are we really going to," she paused, gasping when he bit her neck. "Do this now?"

"I don't see the point of waiting," he shrugged, going back to work, before kissing her collar bone and then her breasts, before flicking her nipples with his deft tongue.

"You're fun to be around," she said.

She wasn't really able to concentrate on what he was doing, just the way that he was making her feel, it was hard to talk, much less think of the reasons why she was in this man's bed. She wasn't like this usually. She had rules, she liked rules, but consistently she broke them for this man.

"I consider that a lovely compliment," he answered, licking her outtie belly button, which caused her to giggle, before making his way back up to her face. "I think you're extraordinary," he admitted. "The things you do, the life you've lived, your plays, your advocacy, your -"

"I'm not perfect," she told him.

"I'm not saying you are, I'm just honored that you chose me," he explained. "I wish that I'd have met you earlier, but I know that I would have screwed it up. I was stupid in my early thirties..."

"Stupid enough to marry your wife?"

"Yes, that stupid and for reasons that no longer matter," he admitted.

"What are those reasons?"

She stroked his curls as he answered. "She had a lot of money, she was pretty fun, she was like a friend, really. I thought that was enough."

"I guess I get it," Danai finally answered. "You were stupid."

"That's a better for it," he finally admitted.

Danai was silent for a moment, still stroking his curls deep in thought. She processed his words as she thought back up her last relationship, or what you could call a relationship. The guy worked at one of her plays, and was exceptionally talented. He was artsy, intelligent, and tall, but she couldn't concentrate on him for very long. They'd dated for three months before she found herself in Andy's bed the first time, and then she'd broken up with him, and hasn't dated other men again.

And on her yearly trip to Zimbabwe, her aunt had questioned it. 'All of your sisters and cousins are married, my sweet,' she'd said. 'I know you want to change the world, but you can't always be alone.' Those words had haunted her, and the only one who truly knew the extended details about her fling with Andy was her sister Chingai, who'd listened to her cry, who listened to her cheer with glee, and everything in between over the blue eyed man.

" _I think I'm in love with him," she'd admitted over the phone on her birthday. Andy had sent gifts and presents and flowers and a love poem for her. She'd been so overwhelmed that she'd called him, saying she missed him, and then she'd realized it._

 _"Oh, honey," her sister had said, sympathy leaking out. "Choni is probably better suited for this talk, but you have to be careful..."_

 _"I really tried, it's just that the connection is so strong and he's such a good man, and I don't know how to stop it," she admitted._

 _"Have you slept with him?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"More than one time?"_

 _Danai hesitated. "Just once, a few months ago and we agreed that it was a mistake. We only slept together because I figured that the feelings would stop."_

 _"Oh, baby sis, did they?"_

 _"No," she sighed._

 _"If you really love him, I believe you. Just be careful, you've got so much at stake and you've worked very hard," her sister reminded her._

 _"I know, thank you, sisi," she said, as a tear leaked down her face._

 _Just then, Lupita walked into the trailer. "Hey, the cast wants to - oh, wow, who is all this from?"_

 _Danai sniffled, hiding her face. "A friend."_

In the present, she still stroked his curls, but he pulled her so that they could lay down on the bed below. His strong arms wrapped around her as she clutched his arms tight.

"How about we just cuddle tonight?" He asked her.

"I'd like that," she settled into him more, knowing that this was always more than a fling.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Friendship: part one**

 _ **2012**_

Danai sighs, as she sits back on the sofa of her friend's tiny apartment in Harlem. He too was an actor, who was trying to make it big, and he was like her closest friend in the city, and she wanted to tell him about this new role that she was auditioning for, but she was sworn to secrecy. The only way that she'd even found out, was when she overheard one of the producers mention "The Walking Dead," which nearly caused her to quit.

She hated horror; she despised it. She couldn't even sit through most murder dramas because she'd freak at the sight of blood and guts, but for some reason, she decided that maybe God has a plan for her, and maybe she needed to step outside of her comfort zone.

As she twiddled her fingers, she decided to just ask her friend if she could borrow his DVDs, maybe even watch them at his place.

"Hey, M," she called him. His name was Mack, but he just went by M. She'd known him since they were barely teenagers, as they'd hung around the same theater circles in Zimbabwe. He was due to do a play in England, but he was the only huge fan of this show that she knew. "Um, can I borrow your 'The Walking Dead' DVDs?"

M narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I just wanted to watch something new, broaden my horizons...," she trailed off, shifting her eyes around.

M continued to stare, knowing that Danai was probably lying. She always did the same overly wide nervous smile, and the same heightened voice. "Sure, but I'll watch it with you. I think AMC is doing a marathon of season one right now," he said casually, switching the television channel.

Danai sat back, knowing that she'd hate this, but she had to know what she was signing up for.

 **5 hours later**

"Have you ever met the main guy?" Danai questioned M. "The one that plays Rick?"

"Andrew Lincoln? No," M answered, once again suspicious. "Why?"

Danai continued to watch the television, her dark brown eyes barely leaving, she seemed to be in a daze whenever the blue eyed hero took to the screen.

"He's just really good," she said. "I'd love to work with him..."

"Work with him, or work with him?" M asked, with a wiggle of his thick brows and a purse of his lips.

"M, shut up," she told him, continuing on with the show, as a fire inside her burned with desire and eagerness at sharing the screen with someone like him. She had to get this role now.

"I'm just sayin', you haven't been interested in anyone since college. You just lovin' 'em and leavin' 'em, D," he said.

"I'm just auditioning right now, you know that. I've got too much on my plate to focus on getting a man," she explained to him.

"I just worry about you, you know, we been friends too long," M told her.

M was a handsome man. He was tall, dark skinned, with twist outs and a polished beard. Most people thought that he was her boyfriend, but really, he was like her family. He was always there for her when she needed him, and that was something she depended on.

"I'll be fine. Now let me finish this!"

"I'll let you enjoy your new white boyfriend," he teased, as Danai threw popcorn at him.

A few days later, and her family was in town to visit her. Currently, she was sharing a small apartment with her best friend Susan, who was a friend from her graduate program. Whenever her family visited, she got nervous, not because she didn't want to see them, but because her Aunt Mai was very traditional. She'd storm around with questions, questions that at thirty three years old, Danai couldn't answer.

It was always the same ones too. 'What happened to that young man you were seeing? Why aren't you married? Why aren't you eating? What kind of career is this?' And while she loved her auntie, she dreaded answering those questions. The truth of the matter was that she didn't want to be with anyone, she wanted to focus on her career. That was the most important thing to her.

Now, she sat in her shared apartment straightening up things that were already straight and cleaning things that were already clean, until she heard the telltale sign of the knock. She knew this knock; it was her auntie.

"Open this door, child," came Aunt Mai's stern thick African accent.

"Yes, Mai guru," she said, immediately returning to that small child who was kind of afraid of her auntie.

When Danai opened the door, Aunt Mai strode into her small apartment and sat on the sofa near the window, but her presence was formidable. In Zimbwean tradition, aunt's were regarded as mothers, and so, Danai had always treated her as such. Her Aunt Mai had a difficult relationship with her mother Josephine, as Josephine was more of a liberal academic, while Mai was a traditional woman of the house.

She didn't completely agree with Josephine letting the children pursue college education in America, where she feared that the "white man would taint them," but Josephine, along with Roger, felt that their kids should study abroad as they did, since they'd lived and worked so long there.

It was a complicated battle of wills in the Gurira household, which left Danai desperate to please them, or at least do something right by them.

"How have you been, my sweet?" She questioned her.

"I've been okay, just auditioning for a TV show," she explained, her sides sitting on the table, the show playing in the far background.

"I'd hoped you'd give up on this 'acting' thing and find a more suitable profession and position," her auntie probed, sitting back on the couch.

Mai Gurira was a proud woman, her robes always shone bright reds or golds, she never slumped in poster, her brown skin didn't crack even at sixty five. She was a majestic force of nature.

"I'm not giving up this, it's what I love to do," she relented.

"I love cows, but I am not running a cow farm, Dede," her auntie chastised her. "When are you planning on starting a family as your sisters have?"

"Tare hasn't started a family," Danai mumbled.

"You are a _woman_ ," her thick accent separated the word harshly.

"I have a purpose, Mai, I have a duty," she continued on, thinking to the blue eyed man who made her heart feel confused, as well as her unfinished plays and the organization that she was about to launch for struggling artists.

"You can't always be alone. One day, you will meet a man who will shake you to the bottom of your toes to the top of that pretty head of yours, he will unnerve you, and your spirit will be unable to stop itself," she told her niece. "It is then that you will ask me what to do, child. It is then that you will understand the plague of your forefathers and foremothers, the ones who gave you this life," she paused, getting up. "Anyways, I must go..."

"You just got here," Danai said, unable to speak.

"I'll be back with that mother of yours," she sighed, and got up, leaving Danai to her thoughts.

 _ **Two and a half months later**_

"Hello, there," came a smooth British accent, immediately Danai turned around, feeling the air around her crackle. "You must be Danai, I'm Andrew Lincoln," the handsome blue eyed man greeted her, she instantly recognized him as the lead character Rick Grimes.

"Oh, I - I'm Danai, yeah," she stuttered, unsure of why she was so nervous. He was just a guy, a handsome guy, sure, but he was just a guy. She'd seen a lot of those. "It's nice to meet you, Andrew."

He chuckled. "You can call me Andy, if you like. I wasn't working today, but I wanted to meet with you personally, make sure you're comforable, answer any questions that you have..."

"I don't have many questions," she paused. "I just didn't realize you weren't American."

"Don't tell anyone!" He whispered, eying the crew behind him. "Most of them think that I actually am a full fledged country bumpkin and I can't ruin my rep."

"Then why did you ruin it by introducing yourself as yourself to me?"

"I couldn't help myself, and you look trustworthy to me," he said, his eyes purposely sweeping over her body. It was the first time that she'd felt warmth all over from his gaze.

She flushed, and thought back to her auntie's words. ' _One day, you will meet a man who will shake you to the bottom of your toes to the top of that pretty head of yours, he will unnerve you.'_

She felt like it was where she was supposed to be. She felt like she was meant to work with him, but pushed those thoughts back. She'd never acted like this before over anyone, especially not another actor.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, Andy," she winked, turning back around in her seat, but the blue eyed stranger lingered.

"You sure it's safe with you?"

"Why wouldn't it be safe?"

"Well, I don't know you. You're a stranger," he teased, which almost felt like a strange British way of flirting.

"I won't say anything, promise," she smiled at him. "Scouts honor."

"Well, if it's scouts honor, then that's the real deal," he winked, that charming smile of his making her melt.

She had to snap out of it. Sure, he was incredibly attractive, and nice, and British to boot, but she wasn't about to throw it back for someone she worked with. Her mother always told her to never shit where she ate, and she followed that rule religiously.

"Well, Andy, how do things work around here?" She asked, clearing her throat.

"This is the 'chilling spot,' also known as the make up trailer," Andy explained, seemingly unphased by the moment just before. "And in two seconds, Norman," he paused as Danai furrowed her brows in confusion. "He plays Daryl and trust me, you'll get it when you meet him. He'll come in, possibly hung over and ask -"

"Where's Cluttershit with my latte?" Norman grumbled, trudging into the room, sitting down heavily on his make up chair.

"I don't even work today, Norm," Andy said with a shake of his head.

"Then why are you here?" Norman asked bluntly, turning to see the new stunning beauty next to him. "And who are you?"

"That's Danai," Andy tilted his head, moving in front of her.

"Jeez, you already claimed her, dude? It's been one day!" Norman said.

Andy handed him a latte, and sat on the other side of her, and not once had his eyes strayed from her own. All she knew about him was what she'd gathered on Google. She knew that he attended RADA, that he was on a few successful shows in his home country, that he did successful plays, but for some reason, she hadn't dared look further. But, it was mostly her desire to work with him that instilled her deep desire to do this, to step outside of her comfort zone.

And now, she watched him as he giggled and smiled. He'd come on his off day simply to greet her, he brought others lattes, he -

There it was, she'd finally seen it, realized it, as his hand shot up to scratch his bearded face. She saw the thick, golden band adorning his finger, and it was all she saw. He was married. That was his flaw.

" - I didn't claim her, I always take time out to meet everybody new that comes, it's a thing," she heard Andy say, her mind finally joining in on the conversation again.

"Well, maybe I can take her around set, make sure she's cool," Norman insisted.

"I'm sure that's the only reason you want to do that," Andy rolled his eyes.

"It's the only reason that you need to know about," Norman winked, and then turned towards Danai with an uncharacteristically wide smile on his face. "Tell us about yourself. You got a place to stay in the A Town? I've got room at my place."

Danai gulped, tearing her eyes from Andy's ring finger. "Yeah, I'm staying with Steven until I find a place..."

"That's a good choice," Andy chimed in. "Better than this one."

"Thanks," she said, awkwardly averting her gaze away, his ring still flashing in her mind, the guilt still plaguing her thoughts. "And thanks, for being so kind."

"It's no problem, you're always welcome here," he said.

His wide smile made her feel warm all over, and she wasn't sure why. She hadn't felt this way when she'd met her last serious boyfriend, or even her last serious crush. Maybe, she figured, she's just enamored by this man who had helmed this show. She knows that she can't get involved with him too personally, considering his relationship status, but she figured it was alright to be his friend, to let him lead her, to be comforable. After all, he was a nice man.

Later on, at the apartment she shared with Steven, she was still thinking about that small glimmer of emotion that she'd felt when she saw Andy's ring and decided that since Steven knew Andy better than she did, that it was innocuous to ask about it.

"Steven, what do you know about Andy?"

Steven sat, a container of take out on his lap. He passed another container to Danai, before answering. "Andy's the nicest man ever, trust. Why?"

"I don't know, I'm just curious because he came to set to greet me," Danai shrugged.

"He does that for everyone, but it's legit. We're supposed to hang out in a few, he's bringing his wife along, so you guys can meet each other if you want," Steven paused, gauging her reaction. "But in general, he's amazing. I love the dude even if he's kind of a nut."

"Um, yeah," Danai gulped nervously. "I'd love to meet the wife."

"Is everything alright? You don't have to go if -"

" - No, it's fine, I'm just not used to being so welcomed," Danai explained.

"You're apart of the family now, we got you!" Steven assured her. "Stay as long you need, by the way."

"Thanks," she told him.

 **The Party**

The party was in full swing at Steven's apartment, with several cast members - old and new - hanging around the relatively small two bedroom bachelor pad. So far, she'd seen Laurie, David Morrissey, a few zombie extras, and Lauren, who'd complimented her breasts in her showy two piece dress. Steven had said she didn't need to dress up, but Danai liked to. She felt like dressing up was a big part of showing up, and how people viewed you shaped their impression of you.

If you looked good, then you felt confident about yourself and people reacted to that feeling. And, as she stood in the kitchen by herself, playing with a glass of wine, did she encounter Andy, his wife Gael, and Sarah Wayne Callies, who played Lori.

Gael was a tall, thin woman, with a spiked hairstyle of dirty blonde hair. Her face was pulled into a tight frown, as she trailed behind her husband. She wore a loose baby doll top and skinny jeans, and seemed pretty normal to Danai's eyes. Not a stunning beauty, but okay, she assumed. But, it took longer than a moment for the trio to spot Danai, and when Andy did, his eyes lit up as he eagerly went over and gave her an overly familiar hug.

"Danai, I wasn't expecting you here," he said.

"Well, I am living with Steven...," she trailed off.

"Oh, yes! I forgot about that," he admitted, brushing one of his erant curls behind his ear. "It is nice to see you, and I'm glad that you let me show you around set earlier."

"I'm glad too," she admitting.

She thought back to her first full day on set with Andy, and how he'd carefully guided her around. He'd introduced her to each crewmember, looking everyone in the eyes. He'd told her funny stories, and inside jokes that the cast shared with one another so that she wouldn't feel left out, and during her first full scene, he'd stood by the sidelines encouraging her. And she knew that this was what he did for everyone, but it made her feel welcomed. It made her feel appreciated, and she was sure that he'd become her friend, someone she could trust and respect.

"And," she finally continued. "I appreciate the encouragement, the artistry, and what you're doing here."

"Our Andy is the captain," Sarah said, grabbing his arm possesively, while flashing a forced smile at Danai.

"He's a great captain," Danai agreed, while Gael stood quietly, simply surveying her.

"I truly look forward to working with you more, Danai," he said, never breaking eye contact with her.

"Andrew, I think it's time for us to go," his wife cut in. "The sitter says Arthur had an accident, I'll be in the car. Sarah, can you come with me while Andrew says goodbye to his friends?"

"Sure, darling," she told her, gripping his arm one last time before leaving.

Once they were gone, she felt the air in the room suddenly flow better. It was as if Andy was tenser for whatever reason, but now he wasn't as much. She had just met the man, so she decided not to pry. She'd never been nosey or a prober, so she left whatever he had going on alone. She would never allow herself to get involved in something like that, she'd figured at the time.

"My wife doesn't really enjoy these things," he suddenly admitted.

"That might be something that you should take up with her," Danai replied simply.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I just met you and I'm already unloading like a fucking idiot," his eyes popped open. "Excuse my language."

"It's okay," she giggled. "But I can't help you with that. I can help you with your lousy tie skills, or those shoes," she paused, motioning to his mucked up pair of dress shoes.

"I didn't have any that haven't been bled on," he shrugged, which caused her to giggle once more. "Anyways, I should go, right?"

"You probably should go," she told him.

As she told him, she felt and saw his eyes dip south towards her top, and linger there for a second longer than was necessary. She heard his intake of breath, and saw his fist clench at his side, but she didn't read too much into it.

He leaned in, kissing her cheek, and then she felt his hot breath brush her ear. "Before I do, I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful tonight."

She felt her cheeks grow warm. "Thank you," she breathed out, her heart rapidly beating in her chest.

With that comment, he too, was gone, and she was thoroughly confused by her actions as well as his.


	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter is Gael and Andy heavy (kind of?), but I figured if I'm writing about the marriage falling apart, I need to show the cracks.**

 **The Friendship part two: The Precipice of Emotional Infidelity**

 _ **2013**_

It was Valentine's Day in the Clutterbuck household, but to Gael and Andy it was just another day. They sat around their kitchen table, Andy reading a book about apples, while Gael prepared the daily breakfast: jam and toast over eggs in the small frying pan in the corner of their well tended and tidy kitchen. The smell emanating was the unpleasant burn of a woman who wasn't the best cook, but felt that it was proper for a housewife to cook some of the meals.

Andy found himself sighing, while adjusting his glasses over his face. Recently, he'd been obsessively reading about apple trees, as he'd grown bored of doing nothing while his two children were at school most of the day. He'd done this to occupy his mind, and to push back the unsettling feeling that things weren't quite right in his life. He figured that if he dedicated himself to this little project, he'd feel some level of fulfillment and purpose.

Gael had told him that it was trivial and fruitless to grow an orchard when they could simply buy all organic apples from the supermarket or farmer's market. This had lead to a fight over whether or not they should do that, which had Andy on the couch and Gael in the room, and them not speaking to one another.

And now here they were, Gael's loud trance music causing his head to pound and his mind to grow weary and distracted. The children ran in, momentarily distracting him with their loud arguing over toys.

" - You're such a baby, Arthur. I told you that those toys were my toys!" His daughter Matilda told his three-year-old son Arthur, who still barely spoke much, and only cried. His loud wails sounded the room, while Gael continued to cook oblivious to the noise. "Give me my toy back now!"

"No, it's mine!" Arthur screamed, wailing some more.

"It is not your toy, dummy!" Matilda snapped, snatching the toy from him, and loudly trudging to her place at the table. "Mummy, what's for breakfast?"

"Jam and eggs, sweetie," Gael said, still oblivious.

"Tilly, your behavior just now towards Arthur was uncalled for," Andy scolded her. "You know it's not nice to name call."

"I know, daddy, but -"

"But nothing, apologize," Andy insisted, getting up to pick up a now sobbing Arthur. He rocked him in his arms, and then delicately placed him back in his chair once his soft wails ceased.

"Sorry," Matilda forced out.

"It's not that big of a deal if the children fight, Andrew. My brother and I fought all the time, and my parents said it was apart of growing up, which it is," Gael shrugged.

"But we shouldn't allow the children to do whatever they want. They should know boundaries, respect, and -"

"Are you saying I wasn't raised with boundaries?"

"Not all of us are born with that luxury," Andy snapped, his passive aggressive dig causing Gael to gasp.

"Are you really picking a fight on Valentine's Day, sweetheart? You're so noble," she turned around, stirring the eggs before turning off the stove.

"No, I just - I thought maybe we could do something together for the day, maybe involve the children," Andy suggested.

Gael just sighed. "I don't know, Andy. I've got to take Tilly to school this morning, and then Arthur has his check up, and then Matilda has a football match. Maybe later..."

Andy knew what her response would be before she even said it. And it wasn't as if he was disappointed by it, just resigned. If he was being completely honest with himself, he'd only offered to spend the day with her because he felt like that was what he was supposed to want to do, but his mind continued to drift to his beautiful co-star. They were friends now, he'd even exchanged numbers with her, but they hadn't spoken since filming wrapped several months prior. But, the one thing that he knew about her was that her birthday was today, and foolishly, he wanted to speak to her about it.

Deciding that he simply had to, he slipped the phone out of his pocket, and concentrated on learning the intricacies of it. He'd put her number into his American phone's contacts, so it took a moment of shuffling to find the number, before he did and sat there for a moment pondering what to send.

"Andrew, did you hear me?" Gael's voice rang in his head.

"Um, yeah, I understand," he told her.

She turned around, and filled his plate up to the brim with overcooked scrambled eggs and slightly burned toast with strawberry jam, as she did for their two children, who still bickered with one another in their school uniforms. Andy simply sighed, not in the mood for yet another argument, so he let it go.

"Alright then," Gael said, looking satisfied with herself.

Meanwhile, Andy has finally conjured up a text on the screen of his flip phone.

 _ **'Hey, it's Andrew Lincoln. You know, your co-star and I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sure your day will be filled with lots of love (lol?).'**_

 _ **'Yes, it is. Thank you. And I really hope that you don't seriously think lol means "lots of love".'**_

 _ **'It doesn't mean that!?'**_

 _ **'No, silly. It means laugh out loud, grandpa.'**_

' _ **I'm not a grandpa!'**_

 _ **'Then you probably should text like one.'**_

 _ **'You certainly don't regard me as grandfatherly. ;-)'**_

Andy gulped, unsure of the message that he'd just sent her. Was it too flirty? Was he being too forward? He wasn't sure, as constantly, he found himself wondering if the way that he spoke to her was appropriate. Sure, he lingered in their hugs because she smelled so good and looked so nice, but it was also because she was growing into a very special friend and he looked forward to seeing her, talking to her.

Danai reminded him of the people he went to drama school with; the ones who thrived in the art of it all and with her, he felt like they could talk about that. It didn't help that she found his sense of humor amusing, which only connected them further.

He debated on this conversation, until his phone chimed once more on the counter.

"Andrew, your phone is quite busy this morning…," Gael trailed off. "Do I need to add this person to your appointment schedule?"

"No," Andy replied shortly, quickly turning off his phone, and then shoving it into his pocket.

"Well, fine...speaking of schedules, you have that cast chat next week, a photo shoot, and -"

" - Thank you, Gael," he cut in. "I'll sort it out, but I'm going out for a bit," he continued on, moving towards his young children. "Matilda, please be nice to your brother _and other_ children and Arthur, please be a good boy," he said, and then kissed their heads. And with that he was out the door, his phone in his hand, eagerly awaiting her incoming text.

While waiting for his phone to chime, he began to think deeper about his marriage. It was Valentine's Day, and while he appreciated Gael's tenacity, her organization, and her sheer dexterity in all things, apart of him craved intimacy and compassion. When did all of their conversations begin to revolve around passionless things like schedules and their children? When had he started to feel to empty regarding everything? He figured that it was why he was so drawn to Danai. It was a harmless crush because of her warm spirit, her enchanting beauty, her fun personality, the fact that he could be himself with her; it also helped that she refused to pry in his unhappiness, cutting off questions about his marriage quickly and soundly as they came.

And now, instead of looking forward to his wife, he looked forward to her, innocently of course.

' _ **I'll continue to call you granddaddy until you upgrade that flip phone of yours. Christ, Andy, you're nearly on a Jitterbug phone commercial lol.'**_

 _ **'Fine, I will do it. Only for you of course. And instead of grandaddy, you could just call me Daddy.'**_

' _ **That would be extremely inappropriate…'**_

' _ **Why?'**_

 _ **'Don't you have a wife to bother today? Lol.'**_

He paused, staring at the message for longer than what was necessary, and then sighed. Didn't he have a wife to bother? He guessed so, but he didn't really know what was going on there. It's not like his wife wanted to spend any time with him.

 _ **'My wife isn't big on Valentine's Day, so you're stuck with me.'**_

 _ **'Hmm. I see.'**_

 _ **'No comment, birthday girl?'**_

 _ **'None that's appropriate. Maybe you shouldn't ask me about that.'**_

' _ **Again, why?'**_

' _ **We have boundaries. I have rules that I don't break. Not even for a pretty guy with pretty eyes.'**_

' _ **I understand, I'm sorry for going there. It won't happen again.'**_

' _ **No apology needed. I've gotta go now, super busy. Thank you for the birthday wishes, Andy. It means the word from me to hear from you.'**_

And with that, she was gone, as Andy re-read her text over and over. He'd hoped that he hadn't made her feel too awkward by bringing up his marital woes, as it seemed to be a sore point for her. Whenever he even mentioned Gael, Danai clammed up, a titanium shield covering her entire body.

It was an armor that he felt almost intimidated by, as Danai was an enigma. She never said too much about herself, she never did anything too personal, and he never saw her with a significant other. But someone that lovely must have someone, he figured. He tried not to care or dwell too much on it. If only it was that easy, he thought. 

_**6 months later**_

Several cast members on the show were on Katie Couric's television show to promote season four, and to introduce themselves to the general public. For Andy, Danai, Norman, Steven, and Lauren, it was a massive and exciting opportunity. But, when Andy saw Danai's neon blue dress suit, he knew that he was fucked. His head tilted to the side as he checked out - discreetly, he hoped - the fine, round globes of her ass.

He'd thought he was being discreet, until Lauren tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a knowing grin. "Are you really checking her out?"

"Checking who out."

"You know who, Andy."

Andy decided to play oblivious. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"C'mon, Andy, I'm not blind," Lauren scolded him. "I saw you looking at Danai's ass and I also see a ring on your finger..."

"I still have eyes in my head," Andy admitted, frustrated as his eyes still lingered on that ass. And boy, was it an ass. So plump, and round; his mind drifted to how wonderful those cheeks would feel in his hands...

"Sure, sure...," Lauren laughed, and then took off towards Danai with a wide smile on her pretty face.

After they'd completed the segment, Andy found himself once again drawn to her. He'd acted a bit obviously, too, knowing that his eyes probably gave away how absolutely enamored he was with her, how absolutely in awe of her he was. Over the summer, they'd grown so close, he'd developed a true bond with her.

He remembered telling her of the horrors of ticks, even offering to get rid of them for her himself. He remembered bonding with her in one hundred degree weather over their affinity for Prince playlists and obscure novels and plays. He'd never smiled so wide as when she told a joke or simply did some extraordinary thing. His heart had never raced like a teenager's during puberty over his wife, nor had his pants grown this tight over a hard on.

Their bond was inappropriate, but like an addict, he was constantly looking for the next hit. He found it when he got Danai alone in the green room.

"Hey," he greeted her casually, sitting next to her. She flushed, her eyes averting anywhere but at him.

"Hi," she squeaked out, nervously.

"I laid it on a bit thick out there, didn't I?" He teased, enjoying the way her deep brown eyes flitted around the room.

"You think?"

His grin went wider, he enjoyed teasing her so much. "A little, but I can't help but tell you how impressive your riding abilities are…"

"Andy!" She giggled, her eyes popping open at the suggestive sexually laced joke.

"I genuinely meant your ability to ride a horse, not that I think you'd be bad at riding other -"

She flushed some more. "Andy, please stop. I get it."

"You are impressive, though," he went on. "I still have that picture in my trailer, actually. I had to bribe Nic with plane tickets though, because you know how photographers are with photos..."

"You bribed our still photographer? You are something else," she sighed.

"A good something else or a bad something else?"

"Good," she grinned. "For now."

He continued to stare at her, edging his way impossibly closer on the couch. His normally light eyes darkened as they took in her full, shapely lips and smooth skin, which looked so soft. He clenched his fist at his side, desperately wanting to cup and stroke the side of her face; to pull her until he felt those lips against his own. Subconsciously, he did move a bit closer, and closer still. The air between them thick and ripe with sexual tension.

His eyes consumed her, from the small bit of cleavage that peaked out of her black top, to those shapely legs of hers. She was a Thanksgiving dinner, and he was hungry, a starving man.

He leaned closer, she didn't stop him, until -

"There you guys are! I was looking all fucking over," Norman interrupted, effectively halting their almost whatever kiss.

He then positioned himself right in between the pair, wrapping his arm around Danai while grinning at Andy. "When are you going to let me take you out, Danai?"

"Probably never," she answered.

"And that would be smart of you," Andy commented.

"And what's it to you?" Norman asked l, smirking at Andy in an odd, knowing manner. Had he figured out that he fancied Danai as more than a friend?

Andy stuttered, suddenly flushing red. "N-no reason, I'd just never trust any girl with the likes of you."

"Ouch, asshole," Norman laughed, before effectively turning the conversation into motorcycles and photography, as the two who sat on opposite ends of him shared confused glances, not knowing why they felt electric pulses up and down their bodies.

Nearly a month later, Andy found himself at his in-law's lavish home in Windsor, UK. The grounds were painted in multicolored flowers unlike any that he'd seen growing up, as all he knew were the shores of Hull and the cobblestones of Bath, where structures looked like castles and the sea wasn't too far away. Gael's parents had a lot of money, and liked for people to know that they did.

Their house was decorated with the finest oak wood, imported from Italy and France; their televisions were nearly 80 inches long, ultra HD, with pictures so luminous and rich, it felt like being there. The floors were marvel, and the color of white chocolate bars that Andy enjoyed eating at the shop; that was all he thought when he saw their home.

Today though, he dreaded it a bit, as it was a gathering with his mother Laura, father Nigel, and his in-laws Ian and his wife Shona. While Andy adored his father in law, he found some of his views conservative and brash, and knew that his parents weren't too fond of him. Gatherings between the two couples tended to be awkward and rife with tension, but they tried for the sake of the marriage their children had to get along.

"Hey," Andy greeted Ian, while giving his wife a polite cheek kiss. "My mother should be arriving soon, she's just caught in transport."

"The bloody fucking woman is always 'caught in transport,'" Ian snapped bluntly, not one to mince words.

"Father," Gael scolded him.

"It's the truth and you know it. That woman doesn't like me," Ian sighed.

Andy never knew what to say during his father in law's tirades, and apart of him wished he were softer, but he never was one to stir the pot so to speak, so he just let things go.

"Let's go to the sitting room and chat over tea," Shona said, snapping her fingers at one of the maids to fetch them some tea.

 _ **30 minutes later**_

" - And I don't know why you insist on the children going to those American schools for that job of yours," Shona said.

"I'm an actor," Andy explained.

"And that's a nice hobby, but a career? I don't know...," Ian said. "I mean, I could go to RADA myself, but decided that a career in music was vastly superior to pretending all the time. If I wanted to lie and sit around all day, I'd be a lawyer."

Andy looked toward his wife for any affirmation, but she remained silent. "RADA isn't easy to get into. I auditioned with over 10,000 other actors for a year, they only accept 14 candidates -"

" - And how long did it take you to not be poor, son?"

Andy hung his head. "A long time."

"Are you pestering my son again?" Came Laura's voice. "I think he's made quite the way for himself, as you do."

Andy watched as Laura strolled in with confidence, unbothered by their comments as Andy seemed to be, but that was Laura Clutterbuck. She was liberal and honest to a fault, not necessarily agreeing to her son's profession, but encouraging it nonetheless. Her relationship with Ian was contemptuous at best; heated at worst.

"My son is too nice to call your horseshit opinions out, but I'm used to a fight," Laura continued on. She was a small woman, barely five foot tall, but her big personality made her tower over others.

Ian scoffed. "Where's Nigel Thornberry?"

"My _husband_ is at at conference in London honoring engineers," Laura smiled with pride, as Ian scowled, not saying anything further. Laura took the opportunity to rave about her son's work. " Anyways, the new season of my son's show has been just wonderful. And you know that Michonne character is just lovely," Laura gushed. "I wouldn't mind it if Rick slayed zombies with her..."

For the first time all afternoon, Gael's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"I said I wouldn't mind it if Rick and Michonne got together. You know how people are these days, so caught up with their racism, and this would be monumental -," she went on.

"Pipe down, would you? We talk enough about zombies," Gael snapped.

Laura immediately went quiet. "Alright then, who wants tea?"

The room went quiet, but Andy took note of it. He'd long craved for his wife to be a tad more supportive of his career aspirations, instead of spouting the same things that her father did, but instead she'd either support him or remain silent. He was quickly finding that not to be enough.

Her outburst over his mother fancying Michonne was something that enraged him a bit, even though he brushed it off as a side comment.

Why would she be so bothered by him possibly being with one of his coworkers for work purposes? The thoughts lingered in his mind like sponge, expanding into every crevice of his being.

And so, when they did arrive back to their countryside home, only a ten minute jaunt from her parent's place, did all hell break loose. It was the first of many spats over Danai.

"What was that 'pipe down' all about?"

"Your mother was being rude and suggestive with that comment. How dare she imply that you might be interested in another woman with me there?"

"My _character_ , she never once mentioned me."

"But I've seen the way you are with that woman," Gael began to pace around the living room. Her lips curled with disgust. "The text messages, the looks you share. I'm not stupid, Andrew," she reminded him. "Your relationship with her, what is it?"

Andy sighed, deciding that he should just be honest. "I have a bit of a harmless crush, but -"

" - And you think this crush is appropriate?"

" - Well, no, but -"

Andy stuttered, his light eyes flitting around the room in a panic. He should've lied.

"I want you to cease all interaction with that woman and I will come with you to all events," she said.

"I don't think that's necessary," he told his wife, who was now turned around. "Danai is just a friend."

"A friend that you've just admitted to me that you fancy! I can't exactly trust that," she huffed.

"I said the crush is a harmless one, I gave you an honest answer. Maybe if you valued my career more and didn't have the emotional complexity of a bag of ice...," Andy's passive aggressive dig slipped out of his mouth, one that had been dormant for several weeks now.

"And maybe if you were less emotional," she sighed, as if Andy was a petulant child. "I don't know how to explain this to you, but there's really no time for that..."

"Emotional how? For wanting my wife to support my career?"

His face went red as he finally unleashed what had been bottled up inside of him for months. There were many things he wanted - _needed_ , but he never got those things from the one person who was supposed to give them to him. But, he had gotten them from the beautiful girl he worked with, the unavailable one.

"Your 'career' is a silly, juvenile thing," she told him harshly, bluntly. "And I will treat it as such. We're done here."

He stood in the middle of their country home, as she walked away, and realized how empty and cold it was for the first time. It was beautiful, with perfectly trimmed white walls and mahogany wood throughout, but it was empty. The house that he'd finally gotten, the one he'd worked his ass off for started to feel desolate, but he could scarcely figure out why.

He knew though, or at least thought that many people who were married as long as he had been with his wife probably weren't in love anymore. It'd been a long time since they'd felt sparks or butterflies or all consuming reckless passion. That was what he had with Danai, but...he couldn't have that.

In that empty room, he tried to reason that this was normal. They were just going through a rough patch, he told himself.

 _ **2014**_

An awkwardness had fallen upon his relationship with Danai; it was something he couldn't describe, but his wife's now overwhelming presence on set and at events, plus their overtly flirty interactions had somehow turned them into awkward almost lovers, nervously bouncing around each other with not many words to share. Around him, Danai had become tense; her body nearly curling into a tense ball. It was as if she was afraid that they'd done something they weren't supposed to.

It didn't help that his wife was _always_ around the pair of them, as her distrust had gone up tenfold since his admission and their fight. He'd blamed it on himself, but now he felt a longing to interact with Danai like they used to before. Whenever something would happen, he'd itch to tell her; whenever he was with his family, he'd instinctively pull out his American phone and look up her number. He'd even gone out and bought a smartphone so that he could keep up with her, but lately their messages had been sporadic and brief.

He was attracted to her, sure, but he missed their friendship more than anything else, and so, after a long day on set, he'd ambled to her trailer, intent on fixing things with her.

His heart thundered, his palms grew sweaty, as he stood outside her trailer. He knew she was in there, as she usually had to take breaks from the heat, but before he could even open the door, it flew open to reveal her. She wore a thin white tank top, soaked in sweat and no bra underneath, of that he was certain; her Michonne wig was off and in her hands as she watched him with a mixture of confusion and intrigue.

"I could hear you from inside," she said with a soft smile. "Come in."

And so he did, a little too eagerly. Once he sat, his eyes danced around the inside of her small trailer; she of course had an elegance to her her trailer, with gold trim and a large leather sectional, pictures of her family adorned the walls, and a few large notebooks littered with writing sat on the side table.

"I was writing…," she explained, when she saw his eyes linger on her notepads. "I usually go to my graduate school to write, but I've been so busy. I just do it in between call times."

Intrigued, Andy averted his eyes up towards her, nearly forgetting why he was there. "What are you writing?"

"A few things," she admitted casually. "This one is about British imperialism and its effects on Africa, and my country."

"Do you ever stop?"

He heard himself ask, the words slipping out of his mouth in reverence.

"Probably not enough," she deflected, sitting next to him on the couch. "So, what do you want?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, your wife has been around and you've been distant," she explained simply. "And now you're in my trailer looking like a lost puppy. What do you want?"

Andy took a deep breath. "I want to talk to you. I want to be friends again."

"We are talking now, and we never stopped being friends," once again her answer was direct, and straight to the point.

"I thought we weren't friends. I tried texting you, but all you kept saying was 'O.K.,' so I thought you were upset with me," a stressed looking Andy pulled out his new iPhone and showed it to her. "I even used my upgrade to get a new phone."

"I'm not upset with you," she responded.

"Well, what did you mean by 'O.K.'?"

She laughed, loud and deep in her stomach. The sound was like velvet to Andy's ears, but it also confused him. "I just needed space. You and your wife - I don't want to cause any problems there…"

"Things are a bit awkward between my wife and I," he saw Danai cringe, effectively wanting to remove herself from this narrative, but he stopped her, placing his hand on her arm. "Hear me out, alright?"

She gulped, reluctantly nodding her head. "Fine, go ahead."

"My wife doesn't like certain things," Andy began. "She doesn't like my career, she doesn't like our friendship, she doesn't feel comfortable with it. But I like our friendship and I don't want to stop being friends with you…"

"I don't want to get in between you and your wife -"

"You _won't_ be. We're friends, right?"

"We are," she admitted.

"Then we can continue that. I don't like it when we don't talk," he admitted sadly, averting his eyes up to her, effectively giving her the big blue puppy eyes that she could never say no to and those pouty pink lips.

"Fine," she sighed.

"You love me," he grinned.

It was the first time he'd said it to her, and a strange expression crossed her face. She looked confused and tormented, before she quickly forced a bright smile on her face. He tried to put on that smile that women called 'panty dropping,' that smirk that seemed to always get him what he wanted, and in that moment it did with her.

"You wish," she told him, with a roll of her eyes.

 _He did._


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note: This chapter was heavily inspired by one of my favorite Janet Jackson songs 'With U.' I highly recommend listening to it before reading the chapter.**

* * *

 **The Shoot**

 **The Romance part one: Just crushin' With U**

 _ **2017**_

Danai sat in her luxurious hotel in downtown D.C. It was the first time in several months that she'd really used any of her savings to splurge on something that didn't have to do with her career, and it made her feel good. _He_ made her feel good, but that was another thing altogether. Over the past couple of months, she'd wondered where he stood with him, seeing as he had vacationed with his wife, and seemed happy enough to pretend. And so, she'd been avoiding his calls and texts for the last few days. Call it self sabotage, call it whatever you want, but she wanted him to really reflect and show her that this meant something to him.

Around that same timeframe, she'd received the first batch of flowers. They were her absolute favorite flowers: gloriosa superba, or flame lilies as they were called. Her mother Josephine had called them fire flowers, and adorned her hair with them as a child, saying that they reminded her of Danai. " _You're so strong, my precious baby girl, and your fire is in perfect harmony with your beauty."_

She stared at those flowers, memories flowing through her like a multi-colored mirage. She'd only told Andy about these flowers once, and that was nearly three years ago. How he remember, she didn't know, but staring at the vibrant varella and ember tips, the wildly exotic flower was rare. It was the flower of her country, the flower of her being.

When she picked the flowers up to sniff them, a note slipped out, and fell onto her lap. At that moment, she remembers her heart nearly falling into her stomach, the anxiety crippling her.

The note was simply engraved: _To my love, from A.C._ She knew who it was, and debated on whether or not to open it, finally giving up, ripping the note open with zeal and wild abandon. She craved his words like she craved water to drink, and food to eat; the feeling unnerved her, but she allowed herself to feel it.

 _Danai,_

 _I'm sorry. I'm desperate to talk to you, and I don't want to be presumptuous, but I'd really like it if you wanted to speak with me too. I'll cut to the chase really quickly: I love you. I'm in love with you, all sorts of love, and I'm desperate, absolutely desperate to make things right. I know that when we last spoke, you asked me if I was serious and I am. My wife and I separated several months ago, I broke it off with her. I've started telling my children, ever so gently. I'll do anything to be with you, to have you in my life, and not having you, well that fucking sucks. I don't want to do that, but I understand if you tell me no, that you can't do this anymore._

 _You told me about these flowers three years ago. Your eyes sparkled as you spoke of your homeland and your mother Josephine. She was right, the flame lily represents Danai - you. You're strong and so beautiful, you're everything right, you're the light._

 _I'm rambling now, so I'll stop._

 _Love, Andy_

She closed the letter, and let the years drip from her eyes. She believed every word, however foolish that was, and let her body warm up from the top of her head to the tips of her feet, she let his words wash over her. She marinated in them, she contemplated them, she knew they were true, and she felt the same.

And, so she'd decided to enlist in the help of one of her closest friends: Lupita. Lupita knew about Andy, but only the important stuff, like the sex was amazing and he was married. Lupita had fooled around with a married man before, she'd gotten caught up, and so she understood what it was like and never judged her.

"Hey," Danai eked out, holding the flowers tenderly in her fingers, never letting them out of her sight. "I need to talk about -"

" - Let me guess - Andy?"

"Am I that predictable?" Danai questioned, she'd wondered when she became to girl who always talked about her guy troubles. She usually counseled others, she'd never received it.

"Yes," Lupita giggled. "What did he do now?"

Danai sucked in a deep breath. "He sent me my favorite flowers with a love note attached, saying he's desperate for me to talk to him."

"Whoa, I didn't know it was that serious, girl," Lupita gasped in awe.

"You think this means he's serious?"

Danai's chest tightened a bit, the hope bubbling up.

"He seems serious to me, I didn't ever get my favorite flowers and love notes," Lupita admitted. "Give me an example of what he wrote."

" _I love you. I'm in love with you, all sorts of love, and I'm desperate, absolutely desperate to make things right_ ," she imitated his rich British accent.

" _Shit_ , girl, I'd marry him right now if I were you," Lupita said. "I mean, if you don't want him, I'll-"

A sudden knock at the door caused Danai to jolt upward, the phone dropping abruptly from her newly manicured hands. She could still hear Lupita's confused mutterings on the other side of the phone, but she no longer cared. It was like an electric rope connected her body and heart to whoever was on the other side of that door and she had a sudden need to be pulled towards them.

And so she went, her feet carrying her swiftly to the door, a smile spreading across her face against her will.

On the other side, he stood, looking dashing as ever in a simple black t-shirt and a smile that made her heart burst and jump all at once; before she knew it, she was in his arms, breathing in his musky scent, and breaking down in ways she never had before.

 _ **Cause when I'm in those arms of yours  
I'm so gone  
The things I like  
Can't tell me it's not right  
When I'm with you  
I lose myself and no one  
Can make me do  
What I can't wait to do when I'm with you**_

"What are you doing here?" she asked, barely recognising her own voice.

"Did you get my letter?" he ignored her question with one of his own, pulling away slightly to peer into her eyes, his piercing blue eyes erasing every thought in her brain.

She gulped. "Yes."

"Is this what you want?" he questioned her, leaning in closer, pulling her so close to him that she felt they were one. "Am _I_?"

"Yes," she breathed out. "I -," she stopped herself, finding it hard to verbalize or express her feelings. "I feel the same way."

And then he smiled, brushing his soft lips against her own, which made her body light up like New Year's Day, the fireworks crackling on every pore of her skin.

 **2015**

"Shingai!" Danai gleefully greeted her older sister over the phone, she hadn't heard from her in weeks, and talking to her older sister was probably the highlight of her weeks. "Where have you been!?"

"Where have _I_ been? Girl, where have you been? I feel like I only see you on covers of magazines these days!" Shingai playfully scolded her, which caused them both to laugh.

Danai revelled in the sudden silence in the call, knowing that once her sister dug her teeth into the true purpose of the call, she'd have to explain herself, which wasn't exactly what she wanted to do, but her eldest sister was the only person who she could think of to call. Her older brother Tare was too nosey, and was the typical overly protective older brother type; Choni, as lovely as she was, psychoanalyzed _everything_ , which made Danai feel like an unwilling patient every phone call. She'd dealt with enough of those types in college, even though she loved her sister to death.

'Danai,' she'd say, in the sweetest, gentlest voice, 'Maybe you have commitment issues and that's what you're seeking out unavailable men.' And she'd think, no, I'm seeking him out because he's irresistible and handsome and she couldn't help but take in _some_ of his advances. They made her heart flutter, her palms sweat, and the hair of her arms stand erect like a teenager before a huge presentation and she desperately wanting it to stop. She'd hoped it would, after years, but it only grew worse, and now, she sat in her trailer studying her IPad.

 _Rick and Michonne kiss._

 _Rick and Michonne kiss._

 _Rick and Michonne kiss._

She read the words over and over, not really believing them herself. This _couldn't_ be happening. She'd tried really hard over the years to shield her heart from his advances, not because she didn't want them, but because she _did_.

" - Dede!" her sister cut through her anxious thoughts. "Did you hear me?"

Danai shook her head. "No, I - I just lost my train of thought…"

"About what? Are you working too hard again?"

"No, I just," Danai paused, unsure of how to broach this subject. Nobody knew anything about how Danai truly felt about Andy, not even Andy himself knew that he kept her up at night, but those things she kept locked up in a box to protect her heart from anyone that might break it. "I - there's this guy I work with -"

"Andy," her sister supplied knowingly.

"How did you -"

" - know? Sisi, I'm not blind and that is one fine white man," her sister answered.

"You can't tell _anyone_ , not even mom, okay?" Danai told her. "I'm serious."

"Fine, I won't tell anyone, but you must promise me the whole truth or I'll know you're lying," her sister said, and Danai knew she was right.

Ever since they were young girls, Danai and Shingai told each other absolutely everything, despite the fact that Shingai was nearly eight years older, and the eldest Gurira child. Unlike her younger siblings, Shingai led a less traditional life, opting not to pursue an academic based career, but an artistically based one, much like Danai. That was the first thing that Danai had confided in her older sister: her acting.

A young nineteen year old Danai called her sister at nearly four in the morning, saying that she'd realized on a school trip abroad to South Africa, that her calling wasn't what she thought it was. But, Danai, intent on making her staunchly academic parents proud, had insisted on attending the prestigious school in the Midwest, much like her parents, choosing a psychology based career, much like her sister Choni. The call for acting was too strong, and so, she'd wound up going to graduate school for acting, which proved to be a controversial decision.

"I think that I may be crushing on a married man," she finally forced out. "Andy's married, by the way."

"Girl, I know, I googled that fine specimen of a man!" Chingai told her.

"Then you know it's wrong of me to even be around him. Our friendship is completely inappropriate, but I like it. The flirting, the tension, the way he makes me feel," she paused, it felt too good to admit this. "It isn't right."

"But you haven't crossed any lines that I can see," Shingai said.

"We haven't, but we're supposed to kiss and I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm scared," she admitted.

Her voice was small, the smallest it'd been since she was just a little girl. She didn't know why she was so afraid of a simple kiss; she'd kissed so many guys in the name of acting that she'd lost count, but this was different. It would change things forever, and she wasn't sure if she wanted that.

She liked her friendship with Andy. He was fun, he was kind, he was exceptionally weird, just like she was, and she found herself loving talking him. Andy was the only person who got her nerdy side, the side that she kept hidden from most people. It was the side that snorted while she laughed, and enjoyed watching cartoons in the morning while eating inappropriate foods.

It was the loud, boisterous Danai of her youth; the girl who like danced at parties and drank until she fell in potted plants. It was apart of her that was secret, apart of her that was sacred.

Danai realized that she cherished Andy, and that is why she kept their interactions close to her heart, and that is why those four words struck fear in the deep recesses of her heart. There was also something else that scared her, and that was her morality, the religious principles that she'd been taught growing up. The one's against tempestuous feelings of the flesh and body.

"In the Bible, God tested Eve by tempting her with the fruit, and when Eve ate it, she was punished," Danai continued on, her voice growing higher and higher in pitch. "Andy is like a dangling fruit right in front of me, Shingai!"

"I don't know. Yes, God tempted Eve, but Eve was human and therefore made a human mistake. Sometimes you forget that you are too, Danai. Now, I'm not encouraging you to bust the goods wide open for this man - as fine as he is - but, I am telling you, sister to sister, to go easy on yourself. God ain't judging you and neither will I," Shingai finished, and then chuckled. "As long as you take your ass to church and pray this Sunday!"

Danai busted out into loud, boisterous giggles. This was why she talked with Shingai. "I will, sisi. See you at Christmas?"

"You better!" her sister responded, before hanging up.

Once Danai was off the phone, she looked at her watch, knowing that it was time to head to the make-up trailer and prepare for the day's filming, but she _really_ didn't want to. For the first time in her career, she was tempted to be late for work, or feign some sort of illness and get the fuck outta dodge, but then again, she knew that they wouldn't believe her. She wasn't the best liar.

Danai sat in her trailer for a little while longer, the words on her IPad beginning to blur. It wasn't until a knock on her trailer door did she reluctantly get up.

"Hey!" came Lauren's bubbly voice. She stood outside the trailer with two cups of coffee and her usually bright smile. "I come bearing gifts. Andy bought it for everyone."

"Of course he did," Danai mumbled to herself.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing, I just said, that's wonderful that he did that!" Danai covered quickly, cringing at how obvious she must seem.

"Did something happen between you and Andy? You're acting a little weird," Lauren questioned.

And then she eyed Danai suspiciously, her green eyes darting up and down.

"Is anything going on between Andy and I? Oh no, nothing at all!" Danai forced out, and then continued when Lauren stared at her, unconvinced. "I mean it. We're just as good as we've always been."

Lauren continued to stare, but knew better than to press Danai for information regarding the two friend's inappropriate relationship. And so, Lauren continued on with another conversation, figuring that maybe she was reading too much into things.

"Are you coming to the makeup trailer? Andy was asking about you," Lauren diverted.

Danai shifted uncomfortably, not even understanding why she was feeling so off and weird ever since she'd read about the kiss. The thought of kissing him made her stomach feel like it had tiny butterflies fluttering about, her palms sweat, and her heart race, which hadn't happened since her college crushes on cute boys.

 _Andy is cute l, so damn cute. Those eyes are so pretty, and those arms are_ -

" - Danai, hey, girl!" Sonequa's friendly voice invaded her thoughts.

 _What was that?_ She wondered to herself. Sure, she found Andy attractive and quote a few times she'd sought him out above others, but that? She didn't know what was happening to her, but she blamed that stupid kiss and Scott Gimple. Yes, she thought to herself, this is all Scott's fault.

"Hey," she answered meekly.

"You got the coffee -"

" - Andy served," Danai cut her off swiftly. "Yeah, I did."

"What's up with y'all now?" Sonequa questioned them, slurping her tea, as she was pregnant with her little boy. "I'm too pregnant for this drama."

"I tried to get her to talk about that, but you know Danai," Lauren shrugged, slurping on her coffee.

"You never catch Danai slipping!" Sonequa agreed with a nod of her head.

"Hey! I'm right here!" Danai reminded her two friends, her two overly enthusiastic friends.

"We're just saying, Danai. You and Andy have a weird -"

"Friendship," Danai insisted. "Because that's what we are - friends!"

"Jeez , _chill_ , girl. Okay, y'all are just best friends forever," Sonequa snickered.

"I'm sensing sarcasm," Danai rolled her eyes. "Anyways, we better get to make-up before Nicotero throws a fit, you know how he is about early calls, and I need to write a few more notes before my scene…"

"Mhmmm, okay," Sonequa said, as she walked ahead with Lauren, while Danai lingered, still trying to make sense of her scattered thoughts and racing heart.

* * *

"Danai, there you are," she heard his voice, and knew that after avoiding him all day, it was finally time to have the conversation with him. "I've been looking all over for you…"

"Well, you found me," she offered weakly.

She once again found herself in an awkward position with him, while simultaneously inviting him into her trailer. It'd become a regular thing, as their friendship grew and expanded after the awkwardness of last year. She'd even go as far as to call him one of her very best friends in the entire world, which was why these newfound feelings for him threw her off her game.

She'd gotten this far in her life, her career without publically faltering, but a pair of pretty blue eyes and an undeniable connection made her feel young and stupid again.

"What's the matter with you? Why are you not _talking_ to me!?" he suddenly asked, the desperation in his voice catching her off guard. She saw him struggle to face her as he combed his hands through his curls. "I thought we were okay again, I thought we were friends, Danai. If I've done anything to -"

" - Andy, you haven't done anything," she told him, placing a comforting hand on his forearm.

"Then what is it?" he questioned her.

"Have you read the script?"

She saw his face crinkle up in confusion "What?"

"The new script for ten that Angela wrote," she went on.

"I've only read up to page 35," she saw him blush nervously. "I've been so busy. But from what I saw, it's pretty light and airy…"

And that's when she sighed, pulling out her iPad and handing it to him with an apprehension that he didn't recognize. "Go finish it, and then come back."

"Okay…," he trailed off, and then exited the trailer.

:

While she waited for him to come back, she once again pondered her relationship - friendship with Andy, and when she'd developed this yearning in her heart for him. It wasn't just his looks, which were obviously up to par with the handsome actors that she'd surrounded herself with, but his inside. It was who he was as a person that compelled her to be drawn to him against her will.

The first draw was when she'd watched him in her apartment for hours, studying every nuance of his performances, and feeling a deep yearning to simply be in the same artistic breathing space. And then it evolved to a mutual admiration of the craft, how he treated the crew, how he took care of everyone as if they were apart of his family.

The biggest battle she fought was her innate sense of freedom and her innate sense of morality. He was married, and she knew that his wife had a problem with her, and for the longest time she tried to not talk to him, to keep her distance, but she couldn't.

 **Strangely I feel a connection with you babe  
Oddly enough I crave for it to remain purely  
More authentic than I've been used to**

She liked him, as more than a friend. She knew it. And that's when her trailer door busted open, as Andy screamed.

"Why didn't you tell me!?"

"I couldn't, I was freaking out!"

Both of them were screaming at one another, but those screams morphed into laughter as they realized how silly they were being. His arms wrapped around her, and she swore, she finally understood the phrase 'her heart skipped a beat,' because in that moment it did.

His bright smile consumed her; it was the only thing that mattered in the world, along with his strong arms.

* * *

 **Two Days Later**

Danai slumped down onto the couch, her body feeling sweaty and heavy even though they hadn't even started the scene yet. Hell, Andy hadn't even arrived yet, so she wasn't sure why her body felt as though she were being hung upside down naked in front of her closest family and friends.

Over the past couple of days, they hadn't spoken much about what they were going to do. She'd tried to talk about it yesterday with Andy, but he'd insisted - more like convinced - her that they should wing the entire thing, and now here she was.

Her notes were empty, as question marks scattered the pages, as well as little doodle hearts. Her script was starting to resemble some of her binders in secondary school, which she wasn't sure was a good thing or not.

"Relax," she felt and heard Andy whisper in his Rick Grimes' drawl.

She immediately jumped up and punched him on the shoulder, for which he squealed like a little girl. "Don't scare me like that, Andy."

"I'm sorry! I was just trying to help you relax, I know this whole thing is rather nerve wracking," he said, but his eager smile went against his words.

"You don't seem that nervous," she said.

"That's because I'm not. Look at who I'm kissing verses who you're kissing," he shrugged.

"Andy, it's not that...," she trailed off. Her eyes darted to the crew setting up around her, and the loud noise that it had provided a shield for their private conversation. "Can I be honest with you for a second?"

He just nodded, grabbing her hand, and rubbing it.

"I don't want this to make things awkward between us, I don't want it to change things," she admitted, her dark eyes darted away, as the vulnerability took over.

"It won't," he promised. "I promise."

"Okay," she breathed out. "Okay."

:

With the final light set up, Danai and Andy took their places on the sofa, and as soon as the director called action, a flurry of events happened faster than the two could really remember. One moment, Danai felt apprehension and fear, the next moment a surge of memories took over her brain.

She remembers the years of their friendship; all the times he made her laugh and smile, the confused times, the times in which they talked about everything and nothing at all.

He moved his face closer, and so did she. They were so close now that she could see the freckles dotting his nose, and the wrinkles of life dotting his eyes. And then, finally, he pressed his lips into her own. That's when she felt it, the electricity, the magnetism, everything that had culminated and laid dormant over the last couple of years. The feeling was indescribable, as she could only relate it back to the first time she went skydiving with her sister in West Africa. She remembers feeling weightless, yet powerful, as her body floated in the air. She'd felt like she was flying, and now, she felt that same feeling.

The rest of the kiss was a blur, as she struggled to breathe and think and carry on her life as if it didn't happen. All she knew was her five senses: he tasted good, his lips felt soft and plush against her own, he smelled so fucking nice, he looked amazing, and the moans and gasps she heard surely told her everything she needed to know. As the kiss went on, she felt his tongue slip in between her lips, for which she eagerly met until she could no longer.

Before she knew it, he was in between her legs, he was cursing, and she was giggling. How she'd gotten on her back, she didn't know, but the strength of it made her feel more than a tingle.

And then it was over, but all she felt was confusion, because surely, they couldn't be the same after this. But it did, it had, and so, when they'd wrapped the episode, she once again found herself sitting on a trailer couch, only this time, it was his.

"Sorry for the mess," he apologized, handing her some fresh cold water. "Fucking Norman keeps putting his sex toys and oddities in here…"

"It's okay," she mumbled.

Andy narrowed his eyes. "You okay? You're not talking…"

"Is my tell when I'm quiet?" she snapped.

"Yes, you never stop talking, Danai, except when you're mad at me, or when you're upset," Andy pointed out.

"That's true," she sighed. "Did the kiss - did it make you feel funny too?"

"No," Andy said quickly, too quickly.

"Oh," she answered, dejected.

"I already knew somewhat what I felt before I kissed you, all it did was make that clearer," he explained. "I've felt this way for awhile now."

"I don't think this is -"

" - Appropriate? Right? We've yet to do anything wrong," he said.

"This is normal. It's normal for us to develop feelings because we kissed each other and it felt really, really good -"

" - That good, huh?"

Danai just frowned at him.

"Andy, you're not helping," Danai scolded him, and then proceeded to pace around the trailer.

"I'm only stating facts, and I'd be a liar if I said that I didn't enjoy it," he said with a cheeky smile.

"It's not that I didn't enjoy it, it's that I want to still be your friend, and that's not exactly possible."

Andy frowned, immediately moving to stand in front of her. "We can still be friends, we've talked about this before. I already told you that I don't like it when we don't talk."

"We still can be, but I think we should keep a professional distance in public while I sort through this," she told him. "You're still my best bud though, even if you can be annoyingly charming," she ruffled his curls.

:

 **20 Minutes Later**

Danai searched and searched for her binder filled with notes, but her search turned up empty. She checked the lunch area, she checked the seating area, she checked underneath the couch cushions, but turned up empty. She asked all of the crew members, cast - even Norman - but, she still couldn't find that damn binder.

"Looking for this?" asked Andy, with a triumphant grin on his face.

She snatched it from him. "Those are my personal notes!"

"I was just looking through them, and they're wonderful," Andy gushed. "Although, all the hearts around my name was a tad extreme, Gurira."

"Fuck you," she said to him, but inside, her heart was still fluttering.

"Gladly," he winked, and joined her as they carried on waking.

To an outsider, it would look like two friends carrying on, but they knew the truth.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author note: I took Chezza3009's advice and decided to expand upon the decimation of a marriage. I feel like it's important to write that out, because I feel like marriages don't just end, they unwind and become destroyed over time, and even if someone no longer loves their partner, there is still grief, guilt, and shame. Here, we see that decimation of it, confirmation of feelings elsewhere physically, and sexualization (you know what that means).**

 **This chapter is heavily inspired by Afraid by Xavier Omar. I highly recommend listening to it before diving in.**

 **The Romance part two: decimation, confirmation, and sexualization**

 **2016**

Andy awoke abruptly from his sleep with his hand wrapped around his stiff cock. He'd dreamed of Danai for the seventh time this month, even more times than the prior month, and he thought that it'd go away now that he was back home in England. But, it'd only grown worse. The guilt of it consumed him, as his wife slept right next to him, and meanwhile, he was dreaming of being sheathed inside some other woman. A woman that wasn't his; a woman that could never be his.

Gael stirred next to him, her usually wild blonde hair was even wilder, looking like some sort of peacock laying on the stark white sheets, only the flurries of color were gone, and immediately he went soft. She was nearly a stranger to him now, even though they'd been married for nearly a decade of his life, a whole quarter of it, and he couldn't recall why he'd fallen for her anymore.

He tried to think of the last time he'd found her beautiful, and his memories were hazy ones from a trip to Costa Rica in 2015. They were on an anniversary trip there, as it had been where he proposed to her. She'd brushed her hair down and her green eyes sparkled, and for a moment he remembered why he'd fallen for her. But, something else, _someone_ , still invaded those thoughts. He also desperately wanted another child, and it'd been the start of their growing distance and resentment towards one another.

" _Arthur is nearly five now," he'd brought up to her over dinner, the vast ocean providing the backdrop for the restaurant. "I think that we should try for another."_

 _Instead of nodding yes, her eyes grew hard and her lips formed a thin line. "No, Andrew."_

" _But the kids are growing older, and I've always wanted a big family," he went on, oblivious to her growing anger. "My mum and dad only had -"_

" _\- Andrew, I said no," she said once more, her tone was firm and left no room for argument._

" _But -"_

" _\- No, Andrew. I don't believe in the principle of having loads of children. We have two. Aren't you grateful for the one's we have? Haven't you heard my father explicitly say no?"_

" _That's straight bollocks, Gael," Andy huffed, growing angry and frustrated._

" _How is that bollocks when I've told you the truth?"_

" _Because your father's opinions shouldn't interfere with our relationship, that's why! It feels like we have a third person in this and that's not what I signed up for when I married you," after years of holding onto pent up frustration, he'd finally snapped. "Do you know that when I even suggested the mere notion of having children, he threatened to mash my fucking cock to bits!_ _ **Your**_ _father did."_

" _I have to listen to my father because he's my father," Gael responded coolly. "Who put the down payment on this house when your previous 'acting' career paid you pennies?_ _ **My**_ _father did, so maybe you should be grateful to him."_

" _There you go again, not supporting my career. My career that pays for our children to go that expensive arse Hogwarts school, my career that pays every single bill in this household, my career that bought you a new car and gifts for your fucking birthday, maybe you should be grateful," he continued to yell, he was so angry now that his head throbbed and his face grew red._

" _And who's taking care of those children? Me," she told him, effectively ending the argument, like always. Sometimes, he felt as though he was screaming into the abyss and nobody could hear his pleas._

 _Before he could respond, the doorbell rang, and Gael got up to get it. Various friends of Gael's that he scarcely knew walked through those doors, and her once hardened face with him transformed into a bright smile, and so also took his cue, creating a character in his mind to be. It was the start of them pretending that everything was alright when everything was terribly wrong._

And now, he stared at her, filled with guilt and confusion. He couldn't remember the important things about her anymore, the things that you're desperate to find out in the beginning. They were the things like favorite colors - Danai's was yellow, he recalled quickly - or what her favorite book was. He didn't know her anymore, and he quickly realized that he didn't care to.

After a while of staring, he climbed out of bed, and went to put on his clothes.

"Where are you going?" Gael asked.

"I'm going out to think about things," Andy answered vaguely, to which she nodded and fell straight to sleep once more.

:

When he finally got outside, he stared out into the late winter night. He was in the middle of the countryside, with acres upon acres of land, with virtually no neighbors. The sky was vast, and on this night all there was was the full moon, which took up nearly the whole sky, and not a single star present.

All he had out here were his thoughts, all he had out here was his mind. He sat down in the middle of the field, as the long weeds of grass brushed against his bare feet, and he thought about everything.

He thought about the fact that he and Gael no longer had sex, their last time was nearly four months ago, and it'd ended abruptly. For years, their sex life consisted of a rigorous schedule to make sure that Gael would not get pregnant. This included never having sex while she was ovulating, and only twice a month, sometimes only once when the children weren't home and he wasn't too tired from work.

The lack of sex, and the distance regarding Gael's strict regimen in terms of childbearing created a mile long wedge between them that nothing could repair. They'd tried dates, romantic dance lessons, but nothing helped. The fights that they used to have over Danai, or lack of support, or lack of another child simply turned into tersely passive aggressive exchanges. He rarely fought Gael anymore, really, but he also felt soul crushing guilt.

Guilt that he'd pleasured himself constantly to thoughts of Danai, guilt that kissing her was the best moment of his life, guilt that he was in love with someone else and nothing could stop that feeling, guilt regarding how his parents, his friends, or the world would view him if he threw in the towel and called it a quits.

He'd been married so long that it'd become apart of him like his house, his car, his job, and his children. And he was scared of who he would be without it.

All of it scared him, but his heart was so gone that he could no longer grasp it in his fingertips. He wanted Danai like he wanted air to breathe and food to eat; it was no longer a want, but a need. She was a supplement that sustained him, not a snack that just got him by. She was all he thought about these days, as the parts of his hearts that were once occupied gave way, and he realized what was missing in his life.

She was.

 **Two Months Later**

"I've reviewed your files," said the marriage counselor. The stern older woman eyed them for a long while, before sighing. "Gwyneth recommended you?"

The counselor sat back in her chair analyzing the couple in front of her, the deja vu hitting her like waves in the ocean. They were tense, their bodies closed off from one another, and they didn't look each other's way once in the thirty minutes that they'd occupied her lobby. And for her, her lobby was like a scientist's test tube, it allowed her to analyze a couple before she even met them, and these two, she sighed once more, had a long way to go.

"She did," Gael answered, Andy slumped further into his chair. "We've reached a bit of a rough patch in our marriage. Andrew thinks it's an extended seven-year-itch, but Gwyneth said you might be able to help us."

"Help you with what, exactly?" the shrewd counselor asked.

"Help us repair what's wrong," Gael continued on. "I think I've done everything right, but Andrew isn't happy with that."

The counselor flitted her eyes towards their hefty file on the table. "In your files it says you're the daughter of Ian Anderson, come from money, and in yours it says you're an actor, is this correct?"

"Yeah," Andy answered noncommittally.

"Interesting indeed," she hummed. "I'm going to be very frank with you both. The actors and entertainers I've worked with, such as Gwyneth and Chris usually leave here with divorce papers in hand. What makes you different?"

"We just _want_ to fix ours more," Gael answered, averting her eyes towards Andrew, whose eyes remained fixed on the wall. "Right?"

"Yeah," Andy shrugged.

"Okay, this is what we'll do…," the counselor began, and after that, all Andy heard were the womp, womp sounds of a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special. He realized it, while sitting in the small, quaint office of Mrs. Gloria, a renowned marriage counselor who'd even worked with Beyonce and Jay Z, that he didn't _want_ to be here. He didn't _want_ to fix his marriage. He didn't _want_ to me married anymore. He wanted to be free of the metaphorical chains and shackles that this marriage brought him, but the thing keeping him from leaving wasn't his reputation, his job, his kids, or his pride. It was something simpler and deadlier; it was fear.

 _ **God has not given us the spirit of fear**_

 _ **But the spirit of love looking like it's not here**_

 _I'm afraid._

That was the thought that wrecked his mind over and over again as he saw his wife, who looked more put together than she had in years, discuss their marriage at length. She was desperate to repair what she saw as a "small hurdle," in their nine year marriage, but that hurdle was a very tall mountain to Andy. It was a mountain that he feared falling from.

 _ **Baby I'm afraid**_

 _ **Really, I'm afraid**_

 _ **Of loving you**_

 _I'm so scared_ , he thought once more. He was scared of how strong his feelings for Danai were becoming, and he didn't know how to turn them off. How do you turn off something like this? He pondered, feeling like he was having some sort of out of body experience. He was floating above his body, somewhere between the ceiling and his chair. He watched dutiful Andrew Clutterbuck listen and nod on occasion, while Andy Lincoln went somewhere else.

To _someone_ else.

 **Two More Months Later**

Andy jogged onto set, hoping that he could get a just a peak at Danai, but lately she'd been in New York a lot for her Tony nomination as well as her play _Eclipsed_. And finally, today he saw her sitting with her assistant Kyle, a tall twenty something African American man, who wore the hell out of a fedora and handled Danai's Black Girl's Rock tote bag with ease. Apart of him secretly resented Kyle, because at least he didn't go months on end with so much as a phone call, but he knew that Danai was busy and didn't owe him anything, as much as he craved it.

As he got closer, he heard her giggle and shush whoever was on the line, and then avert her eyes up to Andy before abruptly ending the call.

"Kyle," Andy nodded at her assistant.

Kyle faltered a bit, nervously nodding at the semi-frightening white man. "An-Andrew…"

"Danai, hey," Andy greeted her more casually. "I see you had an important call."

"I did," Danai answered.

Kyle sat down behind them, and grabbed a mug of freshly brewed tea; his boss' "friendship" with this co-star of hers. He'd been following Danai around all summer, as she'd hired him to manage all of her different affairs, and even the guy she was dating didn't make Danai behave this way. She honestly treated Andy more like a boyfriend or husband than any man she encountered.

"Well, I'm glad," Andy rubbed his curls nervously. "I thought maybe we could grab lunch together this weekend, if you're up to it…"

"Can't," Danai told him quickly. "I'm going to be in New York this weekend for a gala, and then I've got a...a date."

Andy gasped, releasing a breath that he didn't even know that he was holding. Of course she'd eventually date someone, he thought to himself, but the jealousy within him continued to fester. He'd felt it for years, but had never put a word on the wild, unabated anger that swelled within his body whenever Danai interacted too much with another man.

He knew that it was irrational, because he had a whole wife at home. He couldn't imagine how Danai must've carried the weight of that all the time, but still, he felt it consume him and make him irrational.

"A date?" he questioned her.

She gulped. "Yeah, I've been seeing someone for a few weeks now...I think I like him."

"You _think_ or you know, Danai? Because you should be sure," he said.

He saw the look in those big brown doe eyes of hers, as she quickly averted her gaze to Kyle, who still sat watching the pair eagerly, as if they were the most entertaining soap opera on television. "Kyle, can you give us a moment? Actually," she signed, touching the bridge of her nose. "You can take the rest of the day off, I'll pay you the same."

"Really, D?" he jumped up. "I'm outta here! Bye!"

And with that, he was gone quicker that Usain Bolt at the Olympics. But, once he was, an awkwardly tense lull overtook the entire space, as Andy found himself at war with himself.

He'd been in marriage counseling for two months now, but made absolutely no progress. The marriage counselor had suggested all of the things that they'd tried but failed at, and whenever he was there he'd stare at the paint lining the walls, wishing beyond reason that he was somewhere - anywhere - else.

"I don't know what you expected, Andy," Danai finally admitted, after a long silence.

 _ **I don't doubt your heart, I just know things change**_

 _ **Don't want think no more, I can't defeat this shame**_

Andy flushed, turning away from her. "I don't know either, but I wish you'd told me. I wish you would disappear for long periods of time. I wish…," _I wish I had the courage to make you mine._ "You'd have told me. We're close enough for that, right?"

She simply nodded, and for the first time he couldn't read her. His outward frustration, along with their method preparation had left the pair of them awkward and unsure around one another, but the tension still hung in the air like a miasma. "Andy, I don't even know what you want. You claim to want a friendship with me, but get mad when I decided to date someone else. You claim to not want anything to do with your wife, but you're trying to fix things with her. You claim to hate how your life is progressing, but you're too complacent and -"

"- I just don't want there to be secrets between us. We're working on scenes where we're going to need to trust one another with everything, which means transparency," he went on, invading her space. "Tell me."

He heard her breath hitch at his volatile, desperate, domineering plea. "Tell you what?"

"Are you serious about him? Are you?"

She averted her eyes away from those eyes of his, and he couldn't see anything swimming within them anymore. "No."

"Good," he nodded.

"I'm not yours," she blurted out. "I don't belong to you."

And, for the first time in their friendship, he decided to blur that proverbial line. He decided to risk it and throw caution to the wind, as he pressed his body up against hers, so close that he could tell the swell of her breasts, and the beating of her heart. "You've belonged to me since the moment you walked into this set," he breathed into her ear, while running his tongue down the side of her face. He felt her shudder, her composure slipping.

"I -," she breathed out, flushed and unable to meet his eyes. He felt her push him away, before she stalked off quickly towards the other trailers.

What the fuck did I just do? He questioned himself as he tried to right his breathing.

:

Once again, Andy sat in his apartment in Atlanta late at night with his dick in his hand. He pumped and pumped, while playing with his balls, imagining her juicy lips wrapping around him as she sucked him to completion. These thoughts festered in his mind as he laid on the stark white sheets of his bed.

He closed his eyes and imagined her in front of him - those dark brown eyes hypnotising him into a flurry of errant passion as she stripped out of a scarlet red tight body hugging dress. She'd slowly strip out of it, revealing her lacy pink bra and matching thong. _Fucking hell, she's divine._ And then she'd crawl on the bed on her hands and knees, that plump ass in the air, beckoning him, calling him.

His eyes popped open as his phone vibrated on the table, which caused him to sigh and release himself, his dick immediately going soft. The last person he wanted to hear from right now was Gael, but the call to look at the phone was stronger than his urge to remain vigilant. And so he did, but it wasn't his wife. It was Danai.

 _ **Hey. I just wanted to apologize about earlier, I should have told you about him. But, we just sort of happened. I'd never intentionally keep anything from you. You're my best friend and I trust you.**_

Once he read her message, he felt incredibly bad about how he'd behaved earlier and even how he was behaving at the moment. Danai was feeling guilty, and here he was jacking off to the thought of her. It didn't seem right, to have these thoughts that would never leave him no matter how hard he tried to shake them from his mind and body and soul. They were there because he felt them, and he could no longer fight them.

 _ **Please don't beat yourself up over it. I was the wrong one here. I behaved inappropriately.**_

 _ **Don't apologize. I liked it.**_

Andy read her message over and over again, as he felt himself growing hard once more, and then sighed as he let the arousal flow through him. Her liking him being that domineering and possessive of her turned him on beyond belief, and he knew that what he was about to do would further the inappropriateness of their relationship, but like a drug addict, he was fueled by it.

 _ **You liked me telling you those things?**_

 _ **Yes.**_

 _ **Really?**_

 _ **Yes, Andy. I'd love to feel you inside me. I bet that'd be nice.**_

 _ **What?**_

He sat up in the bed, immediately his dick was hard as a rock again. He fought the urge to stroke it softly up and down, up and down, up and down, because he wasn't sure if this was really her, if she really wanted this with him. Instead, he let his hard on go unattended; red and throbbing.

 _ **Are you drunk?**_

 _ **I'm sUuuper drunk. Sonequa and Lauren took me out. Gotta go.**_

Confused, aroused, and verklempt, he threw his phone against the wall and padded towards the bathroom. He knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight without a long, ice cold shower.

 **Comic Con 2016**

"Do you think Danai likes me?" Andy randomly asked Sonequa as they stood near the wall at the Hard rock hotel where their cast pictures adorned nearly every wall.

Sonequa handed him her camera phone. "Sure, now take a picture with me over by this wall," she said, pulling him towards the wall.

After the picture was over, Andy was unsatisfied with her answer. He was still pondering Danai's drunk text last month, but had no way of broaching that subject with her best friend. Instead, he decided to dive around it, and fish for answers. "No, I mean, do you think that there's," Andy leaned in to whisper. "Something between us."

"Ew, Andy, even if I wasn't married, you're like my brother," Sonequa shuddered, which caused Andy to laugh.

"No, no, no! I meant Danai and I. Is there something between Danai and myself?"

Sonequa just laughed. "I know, I was just playing with you. But yeah, no shit. Danai has been crushing on you for awhile now. Whenever we talk it's Andee this and Andee that, I'm almost tired of talking to you right now because I hear about you so much."

"Really!?" Andy's light eyes brightened with excitement.

"Yes, really," she confirmed.

"You can't tell anyone, but I like her too. A lot," Andy sighed, running his hands through his curls. "I don't know what to do about it."

"The first thing that you need to do is leave your wife, and if you're not gonna leave her, then make a move already," Sonequa told him. "Danai wants you, but you're not entitled to her. Earn her, woo her, show her that she's special."

"I will," Andy vowed. "Thank you, Sonequa. I -"

Before Andy could finish, a stunning Danai walked into the room wearing a body hugging white dress. It was the first time that Andy had seen her all dressed up in months, so naturally his eyes drug up and down her body, landing awkwardly on her toned legs, before quickly darting up to her, and blushing. He adjusted his hat to cover his face, while once again rubbing at his curls.

"I was looking for you guys," Danai told them. "We have some press to do."

"Press is nice," Andy added, awkwardly. "Very educational."

Danai arched an eyebrow up at him in confusion, while Andy internally freaked. He hadn't been this nervous around a girl since secondary school, and all he could imagine while talking to her now was his cock buried deep inside of her just like she'd wanted it, just like she'd told him. "Educational?"

"Yes, you know we learn a lot from these press conventions. Right, Sonequa?"

Sonequa sighed. "Yes, Andy, we do. We better go now."

Andy saw Sonequa shake her head and laugh under her breath as she guided Danai down the long hallway towards the interview rooms in the hotel. Once there, she sat with the girls, while Andy sat with the boys, and shot longing looks towards her. He didn't know how much longer he could deny himself her, and with Gael deciding not to come to Comic Con this weekend, he was feeling incredibly tempted by her.

Constantly, he was wracked with thoughts of just one more taste of her, but he pushed them aside to remain professional.

" - Andy," He heard his name being called, but paid it no mind. "Andrew, it's me - Scott."

Finally, Andy snapped out of his errant thoughts about Danai, and came face to face with his boss Scott Gimple. Gimple was very perceptive, and intuitive, often putting together things going on with the actor's personal lives faster than they did, and when he sat an actor down alone to talk, it was usually about taking time off or leaving the show all together.

"I need to talk to you, Andy," Scott told him, and then smiled at the worried expression on his face. "Don't worry, I'm not firing you. Yet."

"Very funny, Gimps," Andy said, before getting up, but not before noticing Danai's eyes follow him out of the room.

Once they were alone, Scott let out a long, stressed sigh. "AMC wants you to distance yourself from Danai at some events," Scott began. "With the whole cliffhanger spectacle, they want the audience to wonder if you or her could possibly be dying."

"I don't think us sitting together -"

" - and we know you two want to fuck each other," Scott said bluntly. "I know, that's why your characters are together on the show right now, but there's rumors going around, and people in high circles are talking. As a matter of fact one of my editors said it's spreading."

"Those rumors are baseless though," Andy quickly defended himself. "Danai and I have nothing going on. We're _just_ friends."

"Who are you trying to convince of that, Andy?" Scott said, before walking off towards the rest of the cast.

:

The next day, Andy awoke to the sound of his alarm blaring and a massive headache. It was nearly half past nine, and in that moment he knew that he was late. He shot up out of the bed, pulling on a pair of beach shorts, grabbing a porcelain cup of tea, putting a towel over his shoulder, and making sure to bring a change of clothes before dashing out of the door.

In all of his recent years, he'd trained himself to be the epitome of perfection and professionalism. He was always on time, and always respectful, but today he was late as hell. And when he did crash through the doors, he crashed right into the soft body of Danai, which caused her to fall backwards, and his half naked body to land on her own.

"What a greeting," she giggled. "And a porcelain cup? Really?"

Ignoring the awkward sexual tension, he pulled himself up off of her, and then helped her up. "Yes, really. You don't pack a porcelain cup when you travel for tea breaks? I thought everyone did."

"You thought wrong," she giggled some more, her eyes trailing down his toned chest and abs before landing at his pelvis. He could've sworn he saw her lick her lips before clearing her throat. "I've seen worse things."

"Like what?"

"Like Norman's refrigerator," Danai giggled, then brushed some glitter from Andy's beard. "There's still some...on your face."

He blushed, absentmindedly rubbing his beard. "Thank you, it's hard to get stuff out of my beard once I've got it around my mouth. It's why I'm careful about how I eat things."

"I'm sure you are careful about that…," she trailed off, and he could've sworn he felt the room temperature increase by nearly 20 degrees.

"Enough flirting y'all, it's time to get this done," Sonequa told them, pulling Danai along. "I'm your resident buffer today because Steven quit, Norman wants a threesome, Chandler is too young for the foolishness, I'm pretty sure Lauren would watch you fuck, and Jeffrey is too brand new. Now, y'all know I don't play."

"We know," Andy and Danai said in unison.

"Y'all better fuck on your own time," Sonequa told them, before whispering. "I _do_ support that."

"We know," Andy and Danai once again chimed in.

"Now Andy, put some damn clothes on," Sonequa said, taking Danai towards the first interviews.

While she walked away, he finally got a good look at the purple dress that Danai wore. It felt like God himself was punishing him with Danai's exposed shoulders, because they'd become a bit of a kink for him in the past few months. He'd started to notice how strong and smooth they looked in her tank tops, the way her breasts sat, high and perky on her chest. And that ass. That _ass_. He nearly whistled when he saw how her dress revealed everything to his thirsty eyes.

As she walked away, he saw her turn and smile at him, and shoot him the brightest, most heart stopping style, before walking out of sight. He heard Sonequa's words blare in his mind once more. _'Danai wants you, but you're not entitled to her. Earn her, woo her, show her that she's special.'_ And so, he vowed himself that that's what he would do.

:

After all the interviews were done, Steven suggested that the cast all go out to dinner together, and maybe drink some. Usually, Andy would refuse that, as his wife and children were around, and he never felt completely comfortable leaving them out of things, but now, he couldn't say no. He honestly wanted to explore whatever flirty tension there was between himself and Danai. He just wanted to be in her company after spending several days distancing himself from her while also flirting non-stop with her whenever they spoke.

There was also the drunk text from her which he hasn't deleted. He wanted to know if she even remembered it or not, if she felt anything for him or not, if she was still dating that guy, if they'd crossed too many boundaries. His mind was a mirage of ifs.

At the party he'd found her easily. Everyone had come with a partner of some sort, but she'd come alone, and sat alone while everyone coupled up. For him, he saw it as an opportunity to reclaim the one constant thing that always made sense to him: their friendship.

"A beautiful woman such as yourself shouldn't be nursing a drink alone," he said, coming to sit next to her.

Danai simply moved over, making room for him. "And how do you know that I'm alone?"

Andy looked around, a bright smile on his face.

"Well, I don't see anyone," he said.

"Nice one, smarty pants," she chuckled. "I'm just thinking."

"About what?" He asked her.

"My life, my career, a lot," she admitted. "I had a panel today for possibly the biggest movie and opportunity of my life, and all I could think was…," she paused, her face grew weary. He found himself staring at her profile, as her eyes stared off some place beyond him. "Sometimes, I get scared, you know. What if I worked this hard for nothing? I don't really have - you know what, this is stupid. Why am I telling you this?"

"No," he said quietly, intent on listening. "Isn't acting about listening? I'll listen to whatever you have to say."

And just like that, he was once again graced with that smile of hers. The one that he'd risk everything for. "You're too perfect, you know? I don't know how one person can be so good."

"I don't think I'm that great," he shrugged, hiding underneath his hat.

"Don't hide," she told him, taking his hat off, while brushing some hair behind his ears. "You're beautiful, everything about you is beautiful."

His eyes filled with unshed tears. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been told that, or shown that type of affection, the last time he'd been touched in that way. He grabbed her hand and tenderly kissed it, and noted how she didn't pull away. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she told him. "And I'm sorry for that text, I don't - I don't know what came over me that night. I got to drinking and I just -"

" - Don't worry about it," he said, simply enjoying this moment that they were having with each other.

"Okay," she nodded.

 **Two Months Later, September**

Andy sat alone in his trailer, pondering life and everything in between. Things with Danai were a lot better, even though they'd been keeping their distance, and as far as Andy knew, she was still dating that guy in New York. Whenever she'd spoken to Andy, she never mentioned him, never hung by her phone, never really bothered with him much, and even though she was constantly on the move, she'd been texting and facetiming Andy constantly. It was like something in Danai lifted resistance, and he desperately wanted to know what it was,although apart of him was just glad to be near her and around her.

And now, it was nearing the end of September, and they were about to receive their scripts for episode twelve, when a creeping feeling overcame the both of them. He heard the sound of her light tapping on his door, to which he opened.

"I got the script for seven twelve," Danai told him, before slumping down into the couch cushions. "Scott said to read it together, so let's read it together."

"How about you read it to me?" Andy gave her a flirtatious grin.

"No," she answered.

"Fine," he sighed, as she handed him his copy.

Once Andy reached the third act, he'd read at least four sex scenes, and several scenes of intimacy between their characters. Sweat began to pool at his temple, as his eyes darted towards Danai, who studiously read her script with rapt attention.

"Well," he sat back. "This should be fun."

:

Later in the week, the pair sat in the confines of a small dingy van. They'd been at least attempting to go over the scene, but after many frustrating takes, Greg called them over to the side. They'd started to realize that Greg wasn't the best at directing romantic scenes, as he had the emotional capacity of a Michael Bay film, and so most of the time, they'd have to direct their own romantic scenes.

"I don't know why this isn't working for me," Greg huffed, reading over his script. "The script gives no details on the actual love scene at all, so I just don't know how to stage it."

"How about _we_ stage it?" Andy asked, a lightbulb going off on the top of his head. "I've got some directing experience, so Danai and I will improvise it."

"I don't know about that…," Greg trailed off.

"Don't you trust us?" Danai gave him her most charming smile.

"No," Greg muttered, whispering something to the camera operator.

"Do you want to get this scene done today?" Danai questioned him, this time more serious.

Greg just sighed. "Fine," he agreed. "The camera guy is going to set up there, boom guy there, A.D. over there with me."

"So, we'll be in there alone?" Andy whispered even though everyone could still hear him.

"Yes," Greg told them. "I'll view you through the dailies."

Andy knew that he was making a mistake, he knew that Greg was making a mistake, he knew that Danai was making a mistake, he knew that the crew was making a mistake, but instead of saying no, like he should've done, he instead nodded and pulled Danai inside the van with him. And instead of guilt, Andy felt aroused and excited. Instead of sadness, he felt deep elation. He wanted to show Danai what he could make her feel, what he wanted to do to her if he could.

When he looked over at Danai, she didn't look afraid either, just coy. She his herself from him, and he was desperate to make her willing and ready to do this scene, so he leaned over her, and pressed his lips to her neck, and just sucked for a while, which seemed to loosen her up.

After that, things just escalated further and further to the basics. Greg would make simple requests, like removing one more piece of clothing, but otherwise they were completely alone in the van together, which was like two bears recently released from lifelong captivity, and all of those repressed animalistic urges are released.

Everything was a blur to Andy once Danai removed her bra, and her breasts poured out. For a second he just stared at them, stared at her voluptuous breasts, and her dark areolas. He'd never been more aroused as he was in that moment, and before he knew it, he'd lunged right at her, attaching his lips to her swollen buds. He pulled her pants off, and kissed her everywhere while she gasped for air, and nobody called cut. This continued until both of them were stark naked and writhing on each other in the lotus position.

The temptation was too much to bare, which lead to Danai spread eagle in her trailer afterwards with Andy in between her legs eating her out like the starving man that he'd become. Both of them knew that they were crossing some sort of line, but neither of them cared.

The following day, Andy still felt anxious about what had transpired the day before in the van, as well as in the trailer afterwards. He knew that there was no way that they could be friends like they were before. Things were different now, better, but also more complicated because everything that they were fighting for so long unravelled and unloaded and unwinded yesterday, and now they had to face that.

But, once again, Andy expected to feel something that he didn't. He didn't feel guilty, because he liked it. He liked all of it. He liked kissing her body, he liked feeling her against him, he liked feeling her warm center over his bare cock, he even liked the moment where he almost went inside of her. And after, he didn't even regret the taste of her pussy on his tongue when he'd ate her like a birthday cake in her trailer afterwards. All he wanted was to do it again and again and again.

Somehow, he'd grown even more obsessed with her, and didn't care anymore about how that came across. He just wanted her one more time.

 _ **Danai, are you busy?**_

 _ **No.**_

 _ **Can we meet up for lunch somewhere? I have this golf tournament thing, but there's this place that we can meet. It's private…**_

 _ **Okay, I'll meet you. I do think that we need to talk.**_

 _ **Alright, it's a date.**_

After sending the last text, Andy went to his dresser and threw out all of his clothes, which didn't amount to much. He had several hats, probably more of those than actual t-shirts and pants, and with Gael choosing to stay put in England, he'd been learning how to do his own laundry, which hadn't been the most successful venture in his life.

He felt fifteen again, and like this was the first time in his life that he was going to meet a girl, and spend time with her. But, he wasn't young, and this wasn't his first rodeo. He wanted to look good to her, he wanted to at least try to look presentable, which made him pick up his nicest golf polo and a pair of tailored jeans and one of his nicest hats, which meant nothing with an animal on it, and then he set off the carry out his errands for the day.

:

At around two, Andy found himself sitting in the back of a pretty exclusive restaurant. Danai had texted him that she'd meet him there an hour after he arrived so that it wouldn't look like they came together or were together, which seemed a bit silly to him, but he wanted to appease her.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," he finally heard her voice, and then he saw her.

She looked gorgeous, with a low cut bandu top, which showed off her glorious breasts and creamy dark skin to him. Her dress was once again body hugging. It was as if he was constantly being tortured or tempted in her presence and he was tired of denying that.

"God, you look gorgeous," he stood, and leaned all the way over to kiss her cheek, but instead she moved her face and their lips brushed together.

She flushed, and sat down, unable to meet his eyes. "Yesterday...was a mistake, Andy. I think that we just got carried away with our characters."

"I don't think that it was a mistake," he leaned forward, his voice husky and deep. "I can still taste you on my tongue."

"You just can't say stuff like that to me while we're in public," she said nervously, looking around the restaurant to see if anyone noticed them. So far, nobody did.

Andy was undeterred. "If it was a mistake, or a moment of passion with our characters, then maybe we should just do it again and _see_ if we still feel like this after."

"That's risky, Andy," Danai averted her eyes away.

"But you dressed like that for me," Andy told her. "You want me too, I know it."

"And if I did?"

"Then you'd just let this happen, just live in the moment, just have fun for once in your life," Andy convinced her. "Just be mine for today and we can forget about this. I just want you, in whatever way we can be together right now."

Danai simply smiled, and he knew that he'd convinced her. "Alright…"

:

Once they left the restaurant - separately of course - a fan caught them, which didn't bother Andy, but did bother Danai. They'd had to call in a favor with Lauren, which meant explaining themselves a bit, but she'd agreed to act as a decoy as long as she got exclusive details into their rendezvous. They'd even gone through the trouble of using separate cars to drive to Danai's apartment in an upscale part of Inman Park in Atlanta, where they'd snuck inside.

Once inside, they drank a bit of wine, talked some, and once again wound up in Danai's bedroom without many clothes on, with Andy's head in between Danai's legs, voraciously eating her out.

"God…," she moaned. " _Fuck_."

When he added two fingers, pressing them upwards against her clit, and then sucked on it at the same time with those pouty lips of his, she nearly saw God, or at least she saw Morgan Freeman's God. But he didn't stop because she tasted better than anything else, she tasted so _good_. _I could do this all day_ , he thought to himself as he hummed and sucked, hummed and sucked. Her hands grabbed at his curls so hard that it was painful, but it only aroused him further. He was harder than he'd ever been in his entire life in that moment, only knowing the feeling of right now.

He should feel guilty but he just felt pleasure. He'd wanted this for so long; he'd wanted her for so long.

"Fuck, Andy," he heard her whimper and gasp, and then scream as her orgasm overtook him, and her wetness completely drenched his hands and beard. He'd probably never wash her scent from it.

"I guess I should watch how I eat," he joked, which earned him a boisterous giggle from Danai.

"I still want you inside me," she suddenly admitted. "I wasn't drunk when I said that, I lied."

Andy just grinned. "I know," and then he laid back on the bed, his dick was almost purple now, as it bobbed and protruded upwards, pointing at her. "Please ride me."

"Okay," she responded, before licking up his strong calves, to his muscled thighs, to his arms, before she sat on to of him and straddled him.

Her breasts were so perky; her pussy was _so_ wet, he could feel it drenching his abdomen, and dropping down his pelvis and thighs. He wanted her so bad right now, and couldn't wait any longer for her to move, so he lifted her up, and sat her atop of dick and then impaled her with it. She gasped, unprepared for the feeling of being filled and he moaned at how warm and wet she was. And when she moved, _God_ , he wasn't prepared for that at all.

The sensations were so pleasurable that all he felt and knew was that. He knew that he wouldn't be able to do this once because it was unlike anything he'd ever experienced in his life.

She swivelled her hips slowly at first, allowing him to feel every inch of her, and he did. His hands roamed all over her body, and even tweaked her nipples, before grabbing her hips and setting a fast, galloping pace atop her. "I always knew you rode well, darling."

Her only response was hushed moans and whimpers as the dirtiest, nastiest shit left his British mouth and a low, rich baritone replaced his usually light and post accented voice. Suddenly, his accent was thick, and rumbly; a side of him that hadn't come out in over ten years. With her he felt young again.

The two of them raced towards competition, as his hands found her center before flipping her over onto her back and thrusting into her even faster than before.

"Please," he heard her whisper. "I'm so close."

"I know you are," he assured her, thrusting harder and faster into her depths until she shattered all around him again, and so did he afterward.

He internally cursed himself for not pulling out of her, but she just felt so good. Going raw was a risk, but it was one that they'd both taken and accepted. When he rolled over onto his back, he felt boneless and sweaty. He couldn't describe in words how wonderful it felt to be with her like that, but he didn't regret it.

 _ **Cuz you give to me  
Everything I pray for, every single day for  
Listen to me, honestly  
You don't have to wait for me to feel I'm safe or  
That I'm ready this time  
I want no one else, not "too" focused on myself  
It's just baby I'm afraid  
Really I'm afraid**_

 _ **Of loving you.**_

They didn't speak as he cuddled her close to him, not wanting to let her go. But, when he awoke the next morning, she was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Some parts of chapter one that were briefly mentioned in that chapter will be fleshed out further in this chapter, so I'd recommend reading it again and then reading this.**

 **Also, I know that a lot of people are protective over Danai in general in terms of Dandy, and that some have expressed concern on how shipping "Dandy," reflects poorly upon her, but that's not the case. Before I wrote this story, I consumed pretty much every print interview that I could about Danai. I read about her plays, her family, her friends, and I watched interviews to gather as much as I could about her personality. And then I put it together in a way that shows how much I respect her. In this story she is not going into this without guilt; her guilt is** _ **constant**_ **throughout, but this story addresses how you fall in love, and sometimes no matter how hard you fight, you just get lost in it. Danai is a woman, and I'd rather imagine her as a multifaceted, complex, multilayered, and flawed human being than perfection personified. I'd rather include the ugly bits, as well as the beautiful bits, the things that makes her - and us - human.**

 **This chapter delves more into fictional demons, and I hope you enjoy it. I'm very sorry for this long monologue, and I truly appreciate all your kind words in regards to this story.**

 **The Romance part three: the "L" word**

 **2016 part two.**

Danai awoke to the sound of Andy's soft snoring; his body was still wrapped around hers like a safe cocoon. And, she noted, his features appeared much younger when he was sleeping. He was so innocent, so soft, so warm, so -

And there it was, that creeping, festering doubt in her head. The guilt. The pain. His ring was still on his finger, that bright, shimmering silver that she'd caught all of those years ago; the shimmering that felt like a warning to run and never look back. She'd let herself get caught up with this man, this beautiful, perfect man, but she couldn't keep doing this to herself. She couldn't keep coming to his bed, she had to cut him off quickly, and pretend that this never happened, and maybe they could get back to how things were before. But, something inside of her lurched at the thought of losing Andy, of losing _this_.

His arm tightened around her, but she slid out of his grasp, quickly heading out of the room. Along the way, she found a pair of underwear, some jeans, and a sweater to put on, as well as a pair of her favorite dark shades. Once she was satisfied with her look, she made her way to the kitchen and sighed deeply in her chest. How had she allowed herself to bring him to her home? How had she allowed herself to sleep with him? How had she allowed him into her heart? She didn't know, she just knew that she wanted him _so_ badly. She knew that the attraction had been building in the past months, with her constantly marvelling over how beautiful his eyes were, how soft his hair looked, how toned his body was.

She'd even thought about how he'd feel on top of her, _inside_ of her. God, she'd wanted that so bad, and was tired of denying herself just one taste. And now, she was feeling guilty, she was feeling remorseful, she was thinking about those who would be hurt by her actions, and she was thinking about him.

But before she could dig deeper into that feeling, her phone rang, insistent in her pocket, and so she picked it up, dreading talking to anyone at the moment. She felt like they'd just _know_ that she'd done something wrong.

"Hey," she whispered into the phone, as if she had a dirty secret to hide.

She heard Lauren's light giggle on the other side of the line. "Hey, Danai, are you busy?"

"Sort of…," Danai trailed off, staring into her empty living room.

"Well, did everything go alright with you and Andy yesterday? Anything you want to tell me?"

Danai just sighed, as she started to pace around the kitchen looking for answers. How did you tell one of your best friends that you'd had the best sex of your life with their married friend? You didn't, that's what you did. But then Danai figured that this was Lauren, the same Lauren who wanted them together for years, the one who'd covered for them yesterday with no regrets or questions asked. She knew that she could trust her, and she really needed to get this off her chest.

"I'm going to tell you something, but you can't scream," Danai told her. "Promise me that you won't scream."

The line went silent for awhile before Lauren finally answered. "Okay, fine. I promise! Now spill!"

"IsleptwithAndylastnight," Danai breathed out, so it came out in one, long, bumbling word.

"YOU DID WHAT!?"

" _Lauren_."

"Sorry, sorry," Lauren rushed to apologize. "You and Andy are just like Monica and Chandler, well except -"

"Monica is a Caucasian woman…," Danai cut in with a laugh of her own.

"Monica is white, but other than that, you're the same! Andy is the goofy guy with a crush and you're the serious, nonsense, yet lovable woman who is just trying to live her life, and then the wedding happens and you sleep together, but -"

" - I didn't know that you were such a big _Friends_ fan, LC," Danai once again interrupted. The lighthearted conversation was taking her mind off of what she knew was an incredibly serious matter.

"Who wasn't? Anyways, Danai, this is great news! It's about time that you two finally got together," Lauren said.

"But LC, it's, it's...not that simple," Danai admitted. "Andy's still married to his wife, he's still got a family, he still lives 5,000 miles away most of the year, and he still wears his wedding ring. I don't-," she pauses. "I'm _so_ stupid. I knew this was a mistake yesterday."

"What was a mistake?" came a deeper, huskier voice from within the same room, which caused her to look up from the phone call. It was him - Andy.

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes surveyed his body. Not one for shyness, he stood in her living room completely naked, his hard on erect and pointing right at her. Her eyes awkwardly flitted upwards, to his toned abs and torso, those strong arms and forearms, those legs. A surge of arousal shot to her core, as she bit her lips and pressed her legs together. She refused to sleep with him again, even if she really, really wanted to.

"I've gotta go," she muttered into the phone, before turning to face him.

"Hey," he greeted her, a bright smile spread across his face.

He looked younger now, rested, peaceful. His curls were messy, piled randomly atop his head in waves in which she _yearned_ to run her fingers through and fix with her eager fingers. Those curls were her weakness, as she'd spend countless hours fantasizing about them. She imagine at first what it felt like to simply touch them, and then the fantasies grew more explicit, as she'd imagine what they'd feel like in between her legs as she gripped them with all her might.

There'd even been times where she'd awoken in the middle of the night, sweating profusely at the thought of those silly curls. But she had to snap out of it. The van was just them getting carried away, last night was amazing, but it was just sex.

"I thought - I thought you'd left…," he said when she didn't respond.

Danai frowned, but couldn't deny that she was right. The only reason that she hadn't left was because this was her apartment, which she'd quickly realized was a another mistake. "I - I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I understand," he responded, walking towards her, as she tried to step back, but the wall blocked her from going any further. "Last night…," he paused, smiling to himself, as his intense eyes burned bright and intense while staring at her. "It was the most amazing night of my life and I know you feel it too."

"Andy -"

" - Danai, what we shared, what we _did_ , it was real, wasn't it?"

"It was real, but -"

" - I love you," he blurted out suddenly, seeming surprised by his own emotions as he paused her a long while, but Danai felt frozen - paralyzed by his words.

"W - what?" She eked out.

"I _love_ you. I'm in love with you," he repeated, more sure in his words this time, but the answer wasn't what she wanted to hear at the moment, because they only confused her more.

All she saw was him, this resplendent man, with a nearly perfect life, who made her feel things that she couldn't explain, bare his soul to her, say that he loved her. But, she had a hard time believing him in the moment, considering that he still had a life back home, and she was only hindering it. When around him, he reminded Danai of a spider, but not the kind that's instantly threatening. No, Andy was a gentle spider, the kind in which you are lured in by the sweet, tempting smell of their web; their arms wrap around you, and you feel safe, until they eat you alive. That was Andy. Andy was trouble, but he was also everything that she'd ever wanted.

Ever since Danai was little, she loved _Dirty Dancing_. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, even to her best friends, but Patrick Swayze had been her dream man. At five years old, she'd made him her boyfriend and decided that one day she'd marry him. She adored his bright blue eyes and curly mane of shaggy mullet hair. She loved his nearly bowlegged swag. And then, that feeling came rushing back when she met Andy. He was so much like him; she was fucked.

"Andy, you can't love me," she whispered, still unable to make eye contact.

"I do, I love you," he said, his voice firm and sure. "I've been in love with you since the moment I met you. I've never felt this way about anyone, Danai and I'm sure of it. I _thought_ that I knew what love was when I met Gael, but that's nothing compared to this. I feel like I've ripped my heart out and given it to you, like my mind only thinks of you, like I'm the happiest when I'm with you. I'll do anything you want."

"Then go back home," Danai told him. "Settle everything."

"But -"

"And then we can be together," Danai choked out, her eyes brimming with tears. "I want to be sure, I need you to be sure."

"Please tell me that there's something between us, that when I come back, this can continue," he requested, running his fingers down the side of her face.

Danai turned around, unable to face him. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I _do_ ," he insisted. "My marriage has been shit for a long time, and you know that…"

"But I can't _trust_ that this will amount to anything. I can't - I can't do that," she told him, her voice cracking.

She so desperately wanted to turn around and run into his arms, and kiss him with everything in her, but her more pragmatic side kept her grounded to her position. For some reason, her mind still wouldn't allow her to give into him, even though her heart had already. She knew that she was in love with him, that everything was in him, but she couldn't risk getting hurt again. Not again.

The last man she'd seriously let into her heart destroyed it. He was a man that she'd dated seriously for eight years, during undergraduate all the way until the very end of her schooling at Tisch. He was handsome, with striking hazel eyes and skin the color of onyx. He was tall, imposing almost, and they had met during an initial elective course focused on African American studies, and bonded over their hugely stressful project which requires endless research and sleepless nights. Somehow, she'd wound up falling for him quickly, and at the time, she'd thought that he'd be the one to marry her.

But, unfortunately, when she'd turned thirty years old and gone on a trip to Liberia for final rewritings of her play, he'd cheated on her. Not only had he cheated, but the other girl had gotten pregnant with his child. And, this wounded Danai more than anything in the world because while she'd been working so hard for the underprivileged and touring the world with her award written postgraduate project, he'd been sleeping around with other women. The worst part was that the friend was white, and he'd made a point to remind her of such.

'Girls that look like you will never make it in this industry,' he'd told her when they'd broken up. 'You'll always be second fiddle to the white woman, the light woman. I hope you're comfortable there.'

The sounds of that, the scars there were deep, and afterwards, she'd fought so hard to prove him - _them_ \- wrong. The wounds were like the battle scars of a child's youth, eventually they may heal, but you'll always remember why they were there. Danai didn't want to admit it, but she too, was damaged by a man. She was made to feel that who she was wasn't enough, and now she felt the trauma of that once more. It made her think of one of her favorite Scorsese films _Shutter Island_ , in which the doctor insists that the main character is traumatized by his own trauma. He said that trauma is derived by the word wound, and that our wounds chase us around like ghosts. Hers definitely did.

"Whoever he was, Danai, I'm not him," Andy said as if reading her mind. "I'll never hurt you."

"That night at comic con...I told you that I was scared, but I never told you why," Danai began, turning back around to face Andy. He was closer now than she recalled, his body still completely exposed to her. "I'm terrified that I did all of this work for nothing, that I'll have no one. And I'm terrified that you're _too_ good. You're not like anyone else I've ever met, and I keep waiting for you to be different, for you to screw up, so that I won't be so gone."

"You don't have to do that," Andy whispers, grasping her face in his large hand, while gripping her hip with the other.

The warmth of him made her shudder. "You should go," she finally said, closing her eyes. "I still want you to settle your shit; I still have to settle mine."

She saw Andy nod solemnly, once again communicating with her without words. He had to go home and rectify the situation with his wife, or he had to fix things with her, therefore ending whatever this was. And Danai, she had to break up with the man that she was currently seeing. She couldn't in good conscience continue to keep him around when she felt absolutely nothing for him, and had only started dating him because she needed a distraction from Andy.

She felt his soft lips against her forehead, before his arms wrapped tightly around her body, which made her feel so safe. Those arms of his, that warmth that he had, that security he brought. He left himself exposed to her, and it made her feel like a valuable possession, a one hundred year old expensive vase at the very top of the shelf, the one that never falls or cracks, and stories are told as generations pass by. That was how he made her feel.

"I'll be waiting," he told her, before he pulled away and walked off to put his clothes on.

 _You always are,_ she thought.

:

 _ **2 days later, New York City**_

"Thanks for grabbing lunch with me today, Nate," she greeted the man that she'd been dating for only three months now. He was the man that she was about to break up with, even though she knew that it would crush him.

"It was a bit sudden," Nate replied.

"Yeah, it was," Danai sighed before abruptly stopping in front of him.

She averted her eyes upward toward Nate's. He was tall, nearly six foot four, and brawny in body, timid in disposition. Apart of her would've been serious with him if her heart wasn't taken by Andy, because she wanted something serious - maybe, and she'd dreaded breaking up with him for a solid week now. She knew that it was over once she'd gotten carried away in the van with Andy, but she'd held off.

She never wanted to hurt anyone, especially someone who'd only been kind to her. And it made it harder when Nate's dark brown puppy eyes found hers, and sparkled.

"Look, Nate, this was fun," Danai began, pausing to collect herself. "But I don't think that I can date anyone at the moment, and it would be unfair of me to continue to date you knowing that I don't want anything from this."

Nate just smiled, which confused her all the more. She was breaking up with him, but he was _smiling_?

"What's so funny?"

"I just expected this," Nate shrugged.

"How did you 'expect' this?"

"I've been competing with Andy since we started this," Nate continued on. "At first I was angry, because I'm the one with you, but you never paid much attention to me, and then I heard you talk to him over the phone one day. You were different, lighter. I just didn't want to break up with you because who breaks up with Danai Gurira?" He questioned her.

"I am sorry," Danai went on. "For everything..."

Nate just nodded. "I know."

:

 _ **October 23, 2016; season 7 premiere**_

A few weeks had passed since Danai had slept with Andy, but also a few weeks had passed since Andy and Danai had truly seen each other or been in each other's presence outside of set. With the passage of time, came the heaviness of feelings, as the both of them were now struggling with going forward in a relationship with each other.

The tension felt almost unbearable, as they seemed to be like two wolves dancing around each other in the wild, desperate to mate. For Danai's part, she'd felt slighted when Andy backed out of obligations simply to avoid her, and even more slighted when his wife had shown up on set, even though he insisted that things were pretty much done with them. Danai had taken it as a betrayal of her trust, for which Andy had struggled with.

And now, she sat in the green room of the premiere of _The Talking Dead_. It was hard enough to dip her toes back into dealing with Steven's departure from the show, but her back and forth complicated relationship with Andy was only making things worse.

"Danai," she heard his voice, strained and light, which caused her to turn and face him.

"Andrew," she said curtly.

"Danai, I'm sorry, for whatever I did," he continued on.

"You _promised_ me that you would fix things, and then you left for weeks without telling me anything," Danai unloaded. "How am I supposed to feel?"

"You told me to go home!"

"I told you to fix things, not go home for weeks and miss out on an event simply because I would be there," she fired back, not knowing where her anger was coming from. They'd never argued before this moment.

"I went home to fix things, to see my children," Andy explained. "I told you that I love you and I mean it. If you told me right now to divorce, you know I would, but you haven't. All I want -"

" - all you want is your cake and your pie, but you're not going to have both," Danai said. "I'm done."

"Danai, wait!" Andy ran after her, grabbing at her dress, but she pulled away. "Please, Danai, I don't want to lose you."

But Danai remained quiet as she fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. She didn't look back as she left, even though she knew that the taping for the episode would begin in just fifteen minutes time, she continued to walk off to the side, where she tried to collect herself.

Never had she let someone creep so deeply into her heart, her soul, her essence, her being, but he did. It hurt her deeply when she didn't speak to him for weeks, the ache festered, and the insecurity overflowed, because at the end of the day, she wasn't his and he wasn't hers. It _hurt_. The pain of this hurt her in ways that she couldn't comprehend, and she didn't know how to carry it.

Her heart felt heavy in her chest. It felt like she was carrying around him within her, and no matter how fast she ran, or how smoothly she dodged him, her heart wouldn't allow him to be too far. He was always right there ready to grasp her, he was always right there ready to hold her, and she wanted him to.

:

 _ **2017**_

 _ **Valentine's Day, Danai's birthday**_

Danai entered her hotel room on the set of Black Panther. It'd been a long day filled with gifts, surprises, and well wishes from various cast members, as well as a sense of family within the cast. Her closest set friend Daniel Kaluuya had even set up balloons around her trailer, which warmed her heart as well as her spirit.

But, after all that socialising and attention focused solely on her, she felt the need to unwind by herself with a glass of wine and a nice book. That's what she expected to do, until she saw a light red envelope fall to the floor, for which she picked up.

She saw Kyle in her trailer once she'd opened the door, every wall in it lined with red roses, flowers and gifts, which made her heart lurch in her chest. Who could've done this? She wondered.

"Do you know who brought all of this stuff?" She asked Kyle, who wore knowing smirk.

"You know who," he said. "Chadwick is serving cake, so I'm gonna get some before it runs out, bye!"

And with that, her trusty, nosey assistant was gone, while she was left to rummage through the gifts. The first few neatly wrapped gifts were from Lupita, the flowers were jointly given to her by all of her friends on the film, but in the very back were nearly five dozen red roses, a case of rare chocolate from Switzerland, four gifts, which all seemed to be from the same person, as they were all messily wrapped in the same golden wrapping paper.

Danai knew immediately who it was from, but she forced herself not to freak out, to remain calm, as she opened the card in her shaky hands.

 _Dear Danai,_

 _It feels like I'm always saying that I'm sorry to you, and for that I have no excuse. You're special to me, I know this, and nothing will ever excuse the way I've handled this whole thing. I've made a mess of us, and I've hurt you, which I promised that I'd never do. I love you, and I only want the best for you, especially on your birthday. I've given you a few things, that I even wrapped myself, albeit very clumsily, but I did wrap them. Each gift has a message that came straight from my heart, and each is something important to you that I've treasured in my memory._

 _Happy birthday, Danai. Your name suits you._

 _On this day I only think of how much love you give me, and how much I love you._

 _Love, Andy_

Overwhelmed with emotion, Danai felt the weight within her body drop towards the floor, along with her body. For so long, she'd fought this feeling inside of her, that nagging, creeping feeling that overfilled her body like water in a jar, and now it had run over. As soon as she read it, it hit her harder than any weight could. She was in love with him.

 _Fuck_ , she thought to herself, running her hands across the letter, as her hands traced his loose script. She cherished the words written there, the ones that made her heart race, her skin grow sweaty, her eyes grow tired and weary, and her insides mushy. It was everything, and it was terrifying, because this was not apart of the plan. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with her co-star, much less her married co-star.

Her phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts, as she struggled to find her voice. "Hey…"

"Sisi, happy birthday!" came the smooth voice of her eldest sister Shigai. "I know it's a bit late in the afternoon, but I got caught up in some meetings. Those damn interns don't know what to do. Anyways, how are you?"

"I'm - I'm okay…," Danai answered, her voice sounded strange to her own ears.

"Danai, you okay? You sound like you're coming down with something," Shingai asked.

"No, no, I'm alright," Danai insisted.

"You aren't alright. I know 'alright,' and I know when you're not, tell me what's going on," Shingai pressed, which caused Danai to sigh.

" _I think I'm in love with him," she'd admitted over the phone on her birthday. Andy had sent gifts and presents and flowers and a love poem for her. She'd been so overwhelmed that she'd called him, saying she missed him, and then she'd realized it._

"Oh, honey," her sister had said, sympathy leaking out. "Choni is probably better suited for this talk, but you have to be careful..."

"I really tried, it's just that the connection is so strong and he's such a good man, and I don't know how to stop it," she admitted.

"Have you slept with him?"

"Yes."

"More than one time?"

Danai hesitated. "Just once, a few months ago and we agreed that it was a mistake. We only slept together because I figured that the feelings would stop."

"Oh, baby sis, did they?"

"No," she sighed.

"If you really love him, I believe you. Just be careful, you've got so much at stake and you've worked very hard," her sister reminded her.

"I know, thank you, sisi," she said, as a tear leaked down her face.

Just then, Lupita walked into the trailer. "Hey, the cast wants to - oh, wow, who is all this from?"

Danai sniffled, hiding her face. "A friend."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lupita questioned her, coming into the trailer. Her arms immediately encircled Danai in a hug, but when Danai turned around, her face wasn't one of anguish, but joy. Pure unadulterated joy.

"I'm okay," Danai insisted, nodding her head happily. "More than okay. Now help me open the rest of these gifts."

"But Chadwick is gonna eat all the cake, girl! You know that man eats like a bear. They call him a panther but -"

" - _Lupita_ ," Danai pressed.

"Girl, fine, but I'm stealing those Swiss chocolates," Lupita smirked.

"You bitch!" Danai giggled, eagerly opening the rest of the gifts.

Once the dust settled over her cloudy, murky heart, she felt it. The unconditional love and happiness, and from that moment on, she decided that all she wanted to feel was happy; all she wanted was to be happy with him. And she would be.

:

Later that evening when Danai arrived to her apartment, she immediately noticed the door was slightly opened, which startled her. The last thing she wanted to do after a late dinner with friends was have to call the police after a burglary, but then she heard it. The smooth voice of Etta James' _At Last_ could be heard playing softly, it permeated the apartment, and filled her ears like a porous gas. She couldn't help but let it fill her, the words consume her.

In the darkness, she let the words reach the deepest parts of her heart, and discover new depths of love that she hadn't thought possible.

 _ **At last my love has come along**_

 _ **My lonely days are over**_

"Andy?" She yelled out, knowing immediately that he was there, somewhere.

It was like her body was a magnet, and his was the other side of it, and they were being pulled together by some unseen force of nature. She just _knew_ it in her heart, in her soul that he was somewhere in her apartment waiting for her, and at that moment, all she wanted was him.

"Andy?" She called out once more, pausing to wait.

Like an eager child on Christmas morning, she turned on every light of the house, and checked every room, until finally she found him sitting in her bedroom. He gave her an apprehensive smile as she rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around him, crushing him with the weight of her. When he lifted her up and stood with her in his arms, she suddenly realized it. It was true, she loved him.

She more than loved him; she was in love. Even more than that, she was happy, and safe, and cherished, and content. There was nowhere else she wanted to be, there was no one else she wanted to spend her birthday with.

"How did you get here? _Why_ are you here?" She asked him through happy tears.

"I had some ADR to do, so I came," he admitted. "You should lock your door."

"Bad habit," Danai giggled.

"I could've been a stalker," Andy teased further. "I could've been anyone."

"But you're not just anyone, you're _you_ ," Danai offered with gleeful smile as she wrapped her arms around him. "I missed you. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry," he told her. "I was so eager for there to be an us that I didn't consider you or your feelings. I was so mad that I pushed you away. I wanted you so much that I couldn't see your pain. I hurt you, and I'm sorry."

"I know, I read your letter," Danai admitted.

"And?"

"And...and I love you too," Danai told him.

Her words came tumbling down, unable to stop, sort of like a large rock falling down a mountain. But once they were out, she felt so much relief. It was like suddenly everything made sense. Advanced calculus made sense, molecular biology made sense, advanced chemistry made sense. Her mind was suddenly clear of everything but _him_. But those crystal clear blue eyes that shone with adoration and love for her.

"We should dance," he suddenly said, pulling her up, as she giggled and shook her head.

"Dance? Right now? I don't know, I -"

"C'mon, darling, we're not getting any younger…," he lifted her up and pressed her close to his body. "Nobody puts Danai in a corner."

"You did not just quote _Dirty Dancing_ to me as if that'll change my mind," she told him, but found her arms encircling his waist, her eyes glimmering with fresh tears.

He held out his hand. "Dance with me."

She released a deep breath, grabbing his large hand within her own. "Okay."

 _ **And then the spell was cast  
And here we are in heaven  
For you are mine  
At Last**_

His clumsy steps bounded around her small bedroom, as the soft sounds of the song faded into nothing, and all they were left was each other. Finally, Danai could study his face in the darkened room, the only flecks of light coming from the window just outside. She remembered her words at comic con, about his beauty. He was beautiful on the outside, but his insides shone with vibrant colors. He was so unfailingly _good_ , even with his flaws, and that was what she saw when she looked at him. Here, in his arms, while he danced off beat to old classical songs, did she realize that even if this were to end, she'd never be able to get over him.

She'd never be able to find another him; someone who was so imperfectly perfect for her. Someone who completed her. Someone she felt was _good enough_ for her.

After a touch too many awkwardly hip swings, Danai stopped him by grabbing at his strong arms. "You are an awful dancer."

"I'm not _that_ bad, Danai," he responded with a long laugh.

She simply stared at him.

"Okay, I'm terrible," he pouted. "I'm really trying here."

"I know you are," she said softly, still staring up at him in reverence, her eyes tracing his face as if it were her hands.

She remembered every line, every wrinkle, every inch of that face, and as her eyes landed on those pouty pink lips of his, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. I'm fact, that's _all_ she wanted to do right now. So she did. She pressed her lips against his, so soft that he barely felt it, and then more insistent. In her kiss, she conveyed her deep feelings for him; in her kiss, she told him she loved him. And tonight, she'd show him.

She removed his white shirt, that hugged his body like a second skin, and then she pushed him back on the bed.

"Danai, I'll -"

He tried to say before she shushed him with a finger to those pouty lips of his, which were a bit swollen now. "Let me take care of you for once."

Once she said this, his body immediately went loose like jelly, as his body fell backwards on the bed. Danai made quick work of his shoes, and pants, but hesitated when she saw his hard member through his boxer shorts. She knew that he'd already been inside of her, that they'd already been together intimately, but the sight of him like this was surreal to her. And, in the brief moment that she stared him down, it appeared as though he somehow grew harder.

She gulped, before slowly stripping his boxer shorts off. Her fingertips scraped across his smooth, thick thighs, until his boxers were wrapped around his ankles. And for one long moment, she just stared at it, her insides becoming warm and flushed and _hungry_. Her only thought was that she wanted to give him the pleasure that he gave her.

She heard him gasp as her tongue made contact once again with his thighs, until she was face to face with his thick, throbbing cock. All she could do was grab him, and kiss the tip. And then kiss it some more, as if she were performing an intricate dance. His body grew even more slumped against the bed as his moans grew louder and louder, slipping into animalistic growls and grunts.

"You're just how I dreamt…," she heard him breathe out, as he delicately stroked her face. "I'm not sure if you're real."

She let him go immediately, and climbed atop him. "I'm real, I _am_."

"Show me," he insisted.

And so she did, as she sunk atop him.

:

Sometime around three in the morning, Danai awoke abruptly, and reached for Andy. When she looked up, she saw that he was already awake, as if he knew or read her mind.

"Can't sleep?" He questioned her.

"No," she admitted.

"Well, let's talk," he said, cuddling her close. His curls were rumpled so adorably, and she couldn't help but ruffle them back into place. She heard him purr like a content bitten, before resting his head on her chest. "You never told me who hurt you."

"I don't know if you want this story," Danai admitted. "It's not exactly good manners to talk about ex boyfriend's after the first date…"

Andy just smirked. "It's a good thing this isn't the first date," he joked, reaching down to grasp her fingers in his own. "I want to know everything about you, even the parts that aren't nice."

"Well, he was a man I dated on and off in college for eight years," Danai began. "I loved him more than anything. I was going to marry him after I finished Tisch, but he cheated on me. It's why I've been so hesitant about this whole thing. I know how that can hurt someone, because it hurt _me_."

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize -"

" - No, don't apologize. I'm here with you now because I want to be. Nobody forced your dick in my mouth," Danai quipped, which made Andy's eyes glaze over. She felt his hardness press against her back. "Already!? We just did it five minutes ago."

She felt him roll her over, his eyes alight from within as if she were the sun, as a large smile spread across his pretty face. It was a moment of pure contentment for her, being underneath him, being loved, being cherished. It'd been so long that she'd felt the simple warmth of another person envelop her that she'd forgotten what it was like to be with someone in this way.

In his eyes, she saw all of the love he had for her; and, as silly as it sounded, or felt, she _believed_ it. She believed every word his mouth spoke, she believed everything he made her feel, and in the here and now, that was all she wanted.

His hands went down to tickle her belly, as well as her underarms, before attacking her entire body. Her laughter overtook her, as tears sprang to her eyes. "Stop!" She giggled, overwhelmed by his strength. "I'm ticklish!"

"Even better," he said, before a devious smirk overtook his face. The playful mood grew heated when she saw those messy curls descend downward until he was at the apex of her thighs. "Darling, can I have a taste?"

"You can have whatever you want," she breathed out, before she felt his deft tongue go to work.

She'd never been so happy.


	7. Deleted Scene

**Author note: Hi all! Not sure if anyone's still checking for this story, especially with it being an RPF and all, but here's a scene that I deleted from a previous chapter. It just didn't fit, so I cut it, but I did really like it. If you're interested in reading more Dandy fics, you can send me a message or review and I'll write it.**

 **Anyways, here you go.**

* * *

Deleted scene

 _ **Steven's wedding, December 2017**_

It'd been a long, awkward night for both Andy and Danai. When Danai saw Gael walk through the doors, she nearly sunk into the floor, but pretended that it did not hurt her to see them together. She stared for a long moment, frozen in place. It was as if time was going in slow motion; as if the Earth had been knocked off its axis.

She stood there long enough for him to avert his eyes up and see her. When he did, she saw those eyes of his widen, and an unrecognizable expression on his face. Their eyes locked from across the room, and it was like one of those movies where the world around ceases to exist, except with the two of them. She looked away first when Steven greeted her with a warm smile and a long hug; his wife Jo did the same.

"I'm so glad you could come, Danai. I didn't know if you'd be too busy…," Steven trailed off, his shrewd, knowing eyes seemed to be implying something else.

"Steven, no matter what's going on with me, I wouldn't dream of missing this," Danai insisted. "And it's nice - it's nice to, um, see everyone again."

"Is everything okay with you?" Steven questioned her.

She forced a smile. "I'm doing very well."

"Well, okay, and there's something I need to tell you about the seating arrange -"

Before Steven could get out his next words, Melissa came over and wrapped her arms around Danai in a long, comforting hug, to which Danai immediately reciprocated. Afterwards, she hugged Steven as well.

"How are you, sweetheart?" Melissa asked, her eyes darting towards the direction in which Andy and Gael were.

"Guys, I'm fine! Don't worry about me, okay?"

"You know I just worry about you so much," Melissa said. Danai knew her to be the sweetest person in the world, even with her sharp tongue. "And we all know that it can't be easy for you. Hell, Steven and I are friends with her too, but we just don't want you to feel left out."

"I won't be, I promise," Danai assured them. "You guys go on ahead, I'm going to use the bathroom really quick."

"Alright," Steven nodded, seemingly conflicted by something. He nodded towards Melissa, who joined him to do the rounds before the wedding officially began.

:

Danai didn't see Andy or Gael again, and things had been going surprisingly well for her. She caught up with Sonequa, and her wonderful husband Kenric; she caught up with Jon, whose wife hadn't been able to make it, as well as Lauren, who held her in a close embrace and told her that everything would be alright. And for that, Danai was grateful. She was grateful for her friends, and the family that she'd earned on the set, she knew that they'd help her through nearly anything.

It wasn't until she went towards her table that she realized it. And like a sudden record stop, she came to a screeching halt at where her name's placemat sat right in front of Andy's, and Gael's.

It was in that moment that Danai strongly contemplated having the ability to shapeshift into other objects, possibly melt into the floor. She averted her eyes to the exits, finding most people already seated, with two stern looking security guards posted up by the doors. _Fuck_ , she sighed deeply. _This is my karma_.

She sat, and stared at the two empty seats right in front of her. These were the things that you couldn't make up in a million years. The married man that she'd slept with nearly a month and a half ago, and ended things with, was going to sit right in front of her, with _his wife_ at one of her best friend's weddings. This was the plot of a romantic comedy, or possibly a Lifetime film. That is what her life had become.

After waiting nearly ten minutes, Andy came trudging in with Gael. He whispered something at her, seemingly angry and annoyed, to which Gael simply smiled and sat. Once she did, her eyes met Danai's, and it was as if she'd seen a ghost.

"Excuse me," Danai got up before she could say a word. "I've got to use the bathroom again."

And then she bolted towards the bathroom, intent upon vomiting or simply remaining there until the end of this wedding. She went inside one of the small stalls, and sat on one of the toilets, her head in her hands. This wasn't the person she wanted to be, but she was this person. She never imagined that she'd be hiding in the bathroom at one of these things, but here she was.

After awhile she heard footsteps, which made her stand up and dust her dress off.

"Danai?" She heard Andy's smooth voice say.

She said nothing.

"Danai, I know you're in here," Andy said once again, his voice leaking with distress. "Gael was invited separately from me. She and I - it's not like that."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Andy. I ended things," Danai told him, stepping closer to the door.

She heard Andy sigh, and walk to the door that she was behind. "I don't want it to be like this between us."

"It _has_ to be this way."

"No, it doesn't have to be this way."

His voice was quiet, and riddled with pain. "You deserve better, I know you do, but this - us - it's something worth fighting for. I don't want Gael and she knows that. I've told her everything. She knows about that night."

"And?" Danai questioned him.

"That's all," Andy said.

"I need some time, I don't know if this is the right thing," Danai finally said. "It was painful not being _told_ where you were or what you were doing. I just wanted you to be honest with me, about where we stand."

"I know that now," she heard Andy step closer.

"Just...give me some time," Danai requested simply.

"Okay, I will," she heard him say, before his footsteps departed the bathroom.


	8. Chapter 7

**This is the LAST chapter of this fic. Thank you to whoever has been following/faving/commenting.**

 **I'm very sorry it's taken me so long, but I got busy with school, etc. I'm thinking of doing a sequel based on 2018 which I will attempt to start as there's a lot of material there. Anyways enjoy.**

* * *

 **The romance part four: Labels**

 _ **2017**_

 _ **April**_

"Licks me clean! _Andy_ , I can't believe you said that!" he heard Danai yell boisterously into the phone, which caused him to break out in the brightest smile.

He averted his eyes around, trying to make sure that nobody could see him, even though he was alone in the hotel lobby nursing a half drunken glass of Sangria. He just missed her so much, and couldn't resist talking about her, or letting others know just how much she made him feel.

"I couldn't help myself," Andy answered. "The words just sort of slipped out before I knew it…"

"The words just slipped out, huh? Somehow, I doubt that," Danai responded. He could hear the sarcasm dripping out of her voice, even though she was being playful. He loved that playful, goofy side of her that was only reserved for friends. And now, he desperately wanted _more_.

He found himself getting up, his feet carrying him across the busy lobby, and up the elevator until he reached his room. Once there, he nearly ran to his hotel room, and rushed inside his room as though there was a bomb that he needed to dismantle in thirty seconds. The urgency of whatever he wanted to do next wasn't lost on him, as Danai's voice flitted in and out of his mind and ears.

" - And the cast is so nosey," He heard the back half of Danai's eager story related to him. "I got so many texts about what you said, and now everyone wants to know if you're my man!"

"Well, I am," Andy answered, and then paused. This time his voice was softer, more vulnerable. "Aren't I?"

"You are, but…," Danai trailed off. "But I want this to be ours right now. I don't want anyone in our business, and I just want us to figure this whole thing out. We don't even need to label it yet."

"No labels, but I - I told Gael about us. I told her that I want to get a divorce," Andy finally admitted, fumbling awkwardly over his words.

He heard Danai's sharp intake of breath before she spoke. "And how'd she take it?"

"Better than I thought," he admitted. "She just wants some time to make sure that Tilly and Art adjust to the changes. Matilda has been having some trouble recently at school, so we put her in counseling, and the counselor feels like she's picked up that something is wrong and," Andy paused, his voice cracking a bit. "I worry that I'm a terrible parent for this."

"Andy, you're not a terrible parent. Matilda is handling this like any child would," Danai assured him. "Just talk to her, and guide her."

"I will," Andy affirmed. "I love my kids, and I don't want to be unfair to you with any of this."

"Trust me, you're not. I'd rather you sort it out than hop into a new life with me with no regard for them. That's why I - that's why I love you so much."

"You love me?"

"I do, even when you're telling the world about that night we shared," she whispered.

"I miss that," he admitted. "I miss _you_."

He heard her sharp intake of breath on the other side of the telephone line, before muffled laughter at something going on in the background, before he finally heard her once more. "Me too, but filming starts next week…"

"I'll be there," he told her without hesitance, without a shred of doubt in his voice. "When I come to Atlanta, I'd like to take you on a proper date…"

"No," she told him, nearly breaking his heart in two.

He composed himself, making his voice flat and unaffected. "Why not?"

"You're still married, even if you don't want to be. We can't risk that," she abruptly paused, before whispering. "We just can't risk being seen together now, in that way. I want to take this slow, I mean it."

"Okay," he agreed.

"I've gotta go now, but please be good, Andy," he heard her say.

"I will," he promised, feeling a part of himself lift up and drop into the mattress beneath him, before her light voice was no more.

Once she was gone he was left feeling empty; it was the emptiest he'd felt in his whole life at the mere thought that a woman like Danai could simply slip between his fingertips like sand in a box, and that's what scared him the most about her. She was free to leave at any moment she wanted to, and he couldn't stop her if he tried. But the thought - the mere suggestion that they were no more nagged at him deeply. That's not something he ever wanted, and so he promised himself that he would do exactly as she said. He would fix himself and find himself, whoever that was, and he'd try to be a better man than he was before.

But before all that, he'd drink a little more. Because, after so many years of the warm, sweet taste of alcohol burning down his throat, he craved it. It was an incessant thought in his mind that made him want to mask and forget, possibly both at the same time.

 _ **June 2017**_

"I'm so sorry I'm late," Danai apologized to him quickly, as she rushed through the doors and around his awaiting arms. Her arms were currently occupied by a large dish - the only dish she'd learned how to cook to perfection - in her hands. If she dropped it, she wasn't sure if she'd cry or kneel in prayer. "I know everyone's probably waiting for -"

Andy just stood at the door, his specs adorning his darkened blue eyes. He looked good enough to eat. "Nobody's here…"

"What do you mean nobody's here? Now, I feel bad. They must've left because I'm so late," Danai rushed to explain, as she made her way through the house and towards the spacious kitchen of his luxury Atlanta home.

"Danai, I never invited them," Andy finally admitted, running his hand through the curls at the base of his neck. He blushed, and averted his eyes away from her, afraid of what she might think. "I - I wanted to do this for you, I wanted to do something special for you."

"Andy…," she trailed off, her eyes wider than an open window. He knew she was confused, scared, possibly unwilling to go along with it. He'd expected the reaction, given his circumstances. "This seems like a date."

"Two friends can't just enjoy a meal together?"

She tilted her head, and narrowed her eyes at him. "Alone?"

"We're alone, _but_ we are eating. Sarah and I traded recipes and cooked together all the time…"

"Have you slept with Sarah?"

Andy's cheeks grew red, as he fumbled with what to say. "Well, no. But I figured I'd do something nice for you. You've been in South Africa and I haven't seen you in weeks. Norman, Melissa, and Lauren _were_ coming, but they got held up on-set, so I just figured we could -"

" - Andy," Danai cut him off from his adorable rambling.

"Yes?"

"I'm just messing with you," she told him with the widest smile on her face. "Thank you, for the meal."

A deep, relieved sigh left his mouth, as he smiled at her. She looked beautiful tonight, he thought. She wore a pair of grey sweats, and an oversized hoodie, which supported the theory that she'd just been expecting an after work hangout with friends, but the dish that she held nervously in her hands said something else.

He'd known Danai for several years, but he hadn't known her to bring a dish to any of their other cast hangouts. She'd said that she loved making goat cheese hamburgers with wedge sweet potato fries, but in her hands was a fresh salmon dish.

"You made a dish?" Andy's eyes lit with excitement, but she just blushed.

"I _tried_ to make a dish," she admitted sheepishly.

"You never made any food for my house dinners before," he pointed out playfully, as his smile grew larger and larger.

Her breathing grew heavy under his teasing stare, as she fought to reacess the reason why she'd even bothered making a dish for a "friendly" party, when it wasn't something she'd ever bothered to do before. A lot of the reasons before were because his wife would be present, or his two children, so she never made herself appear as more than a work acquaintance to them. But now, she wasn't here, and he wasn't just that.

"I wanted…," she paused, feeling uncharacteristically shy. She fought to control her breathing, as her heart galloped along like an untamed horse. "I guess I wanted to impress you. You're such a good cook and I...I wanted to make sure I was up to snuff."

"Well, I'm sure I can teach you a thing or two," he winked.

She simply stared at him, unblinking at his candor.

"In the kitchen, Danai. I meant _in_ the kitchen. Unless you'd like to do that again. I didn't want to assume that we were still -"

" _Andy_ , it's fine," she assured him. "Now please feed me."

:

" - And then my mum tells me 'Andrew, dear, you're going to _have_ to try this,'" Andy explained in between giggles from himself and Danai. "Trying turned into running a twenty six mile marathon, but my mum is the most important person to me."

"Speaking of your mom, did she really want our characters together, or was that just you tryna be fresh with me?"

"Try n' a be what?" Andy's nose scrunched up adorably in confusion.

"We've got to get you into the 21st century, because _this_ is sad," Danai giggled, and then stuffed her face with some more food.

"I thought you were a vegan now," Andy narrowed his eyes teasingly, before averting his eyes up to Danai, who sat with adorably full chipmunk cheeks, before swallowing and shooting him a frown.

"I'm _trying_ ," Danai admitted. "But you are tempting me to the dark side. Where does a guy like you learn to cook food like _this_?"

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult," he answered with a smirk.

"I swear I didn't mean it like that!" She insisted, giggling at his furrowed brows and confused pretty eyes. She found him so adorable when he was bemused, even though she'd never admit it. "I meant, tell me about how you became such a good cook. I want to know."

"Out of necessity," he admitted. "My father - my father wasn't into me being an actor. He wanted me to do something academic, but I was never really into that. And then I'd started to act. When I realized that I was good, I wanted to pursue it, but my dad told me that I had to get into the five best drama schools in England…"

Danai whistled to herself, impressed. "Did you?"

"I did, but my dad told me that if I wanted to go, I had to pay for it," Andy explained. "So, I got three jobs, one of them was a commis chef, and that's how I learned."

He shrugged as if it were nothing, but Danai didn't think it was just nothing. She saw something in him that he didn't see in himself; a person with ambition and drive and determination to do what they needed to do no matter what. She'd wondered secretly how someone so impossibly good could allow himself to have the wife that he did, the in-laws that he did.

She reached over across the table, tentatively placing her hand over his. It was the first time that she'd truly touched him since her birthday, and her body ached for him in ways she hadn't experienced in her whole life.

When she'd come over tonight, she'd just come to see him because she missed him, but right now, after that story, all she wanted was to be underneath him in the most intimate of ways. She didn't care what would happen next, but she knew she wanted him.

"I'm finished with dinner," she said suddenly. "Take me to the bedroom."

"You want to see the bed?" He asked.

"No," she answered. "I want you to fuck me."

Andy's eyes widened, because he'd never heard her speak in such a way. But he wasn't going to let her say it twice.

 _ **July**_

The sound of his phone blared in Andy's room early that Friday morning. He groaned and got up, pausing momentarily to stare at Danai's beautiful back. Last night, she'd tortured him in a low cut top on the way there, constantly walking by his seat and brushing her ass against his legs. It'd gotten to bad that he'd had to put his headphones on and pretend to be sleep in order to will away his massive erection. But somehow, he'd still wound up knocking on her door just past 11, after she'd sent him a pretty scandalous picture of her topless on her bed with her legs spread. Her message simply read: _Come_. And that's exactly what he'd done.

But now in the light of the day, all he wanted to do was relieve being sheathed in her walls over and over. The phone rung once again, knocking him out of his reverie. He looked at the caller ID, groaning even louder when he saw his wife's name plastered across the screen like charred hot coals on his back.

He answered, already anticipating the tongue lashing he was about to receive. "Where in the _hell_ are you, Andrew? The kids and I have been waiting at the airport for nearly two hours! You were supposed to pick us up."

"You didn't make arrangements to come with me," Andy answered simply.

"I'm not doing this with you right now, Andrew. I told you last month that Matilda and Arthur were on holiday that week and we would be joining you this week," Gael reminded him. "I swear if I don't write certain things on your forehead, you'd never remember them."

"Look, I don't want to hear it," Andy sighed, chancing another look at Danai's sleeping form. "I'll be there in 15 minutes."

"You better because I don't want to -" Click. He'd hung up on her, and instead of causing him anxiety like it usually did, it only gave him a sense of deep relief.

He got up, and left the bed, while sliding on his shirt and jeans. The last thing he wanted was to leave her, but he knew that Gael would make a scene of it. Before he left, he decided to leave her a letter, explaining everything to her, because he didn't want to wake her so early in the morning, not when she looked so peaceful.

In all the time he'd known her, she rarely slept deeply. Her schedule was usually so jammed packed that she preferred cat naps and sleeping pills, which he didn't think was very healthy, but somehow worked for Danai. In his eyes she was superwoman; able to do things regular mortals couldn't.

 _Hey,_

 _I have to go pick up Art and Tilly from the airport. Didn't want to but I had to otherwise I'd be there with you. Please rest up and then meet us on the beach for the tradition. Wouldn't want you to miss out._

 _Love you. Andy._

:

Danai didn't expect a light knock on her door, or the precocious set of green eyes that peered up at her either. Andy's daughter Matilda stood there waiting for her with an expectant expression on her face. She was a little thing, standing somewhere between three and four feet tall, but she felt her presence strongly, and wasn't sure what to do.

Should she invite her in? Where were her parents? Why was she here? But before she could do that, the young girl flipped her chestnut locks back and skipped into the room as if she owned the place.

"Dad doesn't know I'm here," Matilda smirked mischievously. "Yet."

"And your mom?" Danai eked out, nervous about them even speaking to one another so casually. She wondered how much Matilda knew about her relationship with Andy, and if she did know, did she approve?

"She's fussing at dad about something, I think," Matilda said casually.

"You know you could get into serious trouble, young lady," Danai put on her most stern, adult voice, but couldn't quite pull it off because she wore her favorite comfty bunny slippers and her furry pink robe.

"Sure, sure," Matilda said, sitting down on the couch and kicking up her boots. "Dad will find me, and give me a cuddle," she explained, her transatlantic accent wafting through the relatively empty hotel room. "I texted him where I am and hopefully it takes him only thirty minutes to find it - _this_ time."

"Matilda, why are you here?" Danai questioned the young girl.

"Do you fancy my dad?"

Danai averted her eyes nervously to the floor. "No, your dad and I are just buddies. We slay zombies together."

"Hmmm," Matilda narrowed her eyes. " _Sure_."

"You are your father's child, you know that, right?"

"What does that me -"

Before Matilda could finish her question, a banging on the door startled them both, and immediately Matilda leapt up from the couch, and ran to the door. Once opened, both of her parents stormed into the hotel room with concerned expressions on their face, and the usually cool room turned deathly cold. A few moments later, a distracted Arthur bounced in, and sat on the couch, too engrossed with his Super Mario Bros game on his tablet to truly care what was going on.

"How in the world did you get up here, Matilda? You could've been hurt, kidnapped, or worse…," Gael trailed off, standing stiffly by the door. Her dark shades covered her eyes, and her mouth thinned into a tight line.

"Dad's friend saw me and let me stay with her," Matilda quickly explained.

"On the fifth floor, Matilda?" Gael questioned her once more.

"Yeah, on the family fifth floor, mom. Can I go to the beach now?"

Gael sighed heavily, deferring to Andy with one empty look. "You handle it."

Andy kneeled down, placing his hands on Matilda's shoulders, while he peered into her light emerald eyes. They were eyes just like her mother's, but instead of ice orbs, hers were fiery, like her father's. "Tilly, sweetheart, you can't go knackering off with my - with my - with my friends," Andy eyed Danai discreetly. "What are you doing up here?"

"I just wanted to talk to her, without you guys," Matilda admitted. "Is it okay if I like Miss. Danai?"

Andy simply smiled. "No, sweetheart. But now we've got to go to the beach, alright?"

"Alright," Matilda said, before joining her brother on the couch.

Once the two children were preoccupied, the adults went to the Backroom to have the one tall that nobody was prepared to have. But they had to have it. When they arrived at the bedroom, it was still a bit of a mess from before, but they managed to find a quiet spot to speak without being heard by the overly nosey children.

For Danai's part, she mostly felt awkward. This whole thing was a lot.

"I know what's going on, I always have," Gael finally said, cutting into the awkward silence of the room. She removed her dark shades, and placed them on top of her head, before sighing. Her jade eyes were heavy with trepidation, her skin sallow with stress. "My only request is that you not embarrass me."

"What do you mean?" Danai questioned her. "Andy and I are -"

" - Save it, I know you're shagging. I'm over that now, but I have a reputation, as do you, as does...he," Gael motioned towards Andy, who looked on the verge of vomiting. "This...whatever it is must remain as private as possible until, and _only_ until Andrew and myself are formally parted, it's for the best interests of everyone involved. I can even have a formal s agreement drawn up…"

"There's no need," Danai said, unable to truly respond to how cold and detached Gael was about her marriage. On one hand, it made her feel relieved; on the other hand, she felt deeply unsettled by her.

"Fine, but I request you distance yourself. I don't care what you get up to in private, but in public, distance is the best, for _all_ of us."

She couldn't fathom leaving someone she'd loved for nearly twelve years as if she were giving up her share in a company, but now Danai was seeing her for who she truly was, and everything made sense to her. Their marriage was apart of their image, and Gael tended to it like a well tended to front lawn. Occasionally, she watered it, cropped the stray leaves, mowed it, but when it was time to leave the house, she no longer cared. The reason she tended the lawn was to sell the house, nothing more, nothing less.

And for the first time, Danai looked at her. She pursued her. Her eyes took in the frigid woman who stood at five foot nine; her temperament something akin to a mother bird. She was tense in posture, with shoulders that sat upright unnaturally, and arms always crossed around her front.

Danai knew she was uncomfortable by this, by them. But logically, she couldn't deny that their reputation did matter.

"That sounds fair," Danai once again said, filling the silence. "Andy and I - we'll keep our distance."

"Good," Gael told the both of them. "The kids and I will meet you at the beach, Andrew."

With that, she was gone, and Andy and Danai stood in the room bathed with natural light and silence. Neither spoke for a few moments, as Danai's thoughts lingered on the exchange that had just happened. She wondered how Andy felt about everything; was he just as relieved as she was? Did he still harbor feelings? Was this divorce something that was really happening? Was she wrong for her part in it?

She felt like water circling the drain with how her thoughts always circled back to that, but she couldn't help it. Without a **label** , she didn't know where they stood. But apart of her still wasn't ready for the pressure of labels when she wasn't even sure about the status of his relationship.

As much as she wanted to be with him, as much as she loved him, she still wasn't ready to take the plunge.

"I'm sorry about Gael," Andy finally said. "She lacks the compassion chip."

"I noticed," Danai told him. "Your daughter knows about us."

"Tilly knows!?" Andy asked, cluelessly. He snatched off his beaver hat and ran his hand through his slicked back curls.

"She does, but I think she's fine with it," Danai told him. "Have she...asked you?"

Andy shook his head profusely. "No."

"Would you - would you want me to be apart of their lives?"

Danai whispered this part out, as if embarrassed by the notion, but Andy simply reached over, grabbed her face, and pressed his lips against hers. Once done, his intense eyes landed on hers with deep promise. "You're apart of me, so there's no way you wouldn't be."

He was so convincing that she decided to believe him.

:

He wasn't prepared to see her body, but there she was along the shore stripping off her denim cutoff shirts and her white t-shirt to reveal a modest one piece black swimsuit. She looked divine, with her curves being emphasized to the fullest degree by the skin hugging leather fabric. She was oblivious to his internal angst, as she giggled and splashed in the water.

After awhile, Norman joined him, immediately noticing his discontent and angst. "Sup, man. You look like shit."

"Well, thank you for that," Andy responded sarcastically.

"What's going on with you? You've been walking around in a funk for weeks now."

"I want to leave the show," Andy blurted out, unsure of where it came from, but he felt relieved now that it was out there.

Norman's head spun around to fast that Andy worried he'd break his neck. "You what?"

"You heard me, I want to leave the show," Andy repeated, this time sounding more confident."

"But why?" Norman asked, genuinely confused.

"I -," Andy struggled for words as Danai stepped into view, her beautiful body encased in short shorts and a white t-shirt. She giggled at something Lauren said, before gracefully running down the beach like an Olympian runner. _God, she's the best thing in this world_ , he thought, losing track of whatever else he was saying before.

"Earth to Andy," Norman said, shaking him out of his reverie.

"Sorry," Andy apologized, struggling to remember what he'd been saying. "I - I - Gael and I - we're separated, and she told me that she doesn't want to keep bringing the kids back and forth, that she's tired of it, that they're tired of it. I feel guilty...but this show, I've never cared about something more in my life. I'm...struggling."

"It's Danai, isn't it?" Norman answered.

"I'm in love with Danai," Andy suddenly admitted.

"If you're in love with her, you've got to do something about it, man. 'Cause there's lots of dudes lookin' to take your spot," Norman said, giving uncharacteristically sage advice.

Andy narrowed his eyes, and then laughed. He couldn't believe how the tables had turned, with Norman somehow being the wise one, while he was the confused, vulnerable one. And then his eyes travelled back to where Danai now sat talking animatedly to Lauren on the beach. Norman's words hovered in Andy's mind like a haunting ghost, their presence permeating his mind even though he couldn't see them. He knew that Danai deserved something serious, and that one day she'd probably meet someone who could provide her with a normal relationship, but he selfishly wanted her more than rational thoughts allowed.

He knew one thing though, he wasn't ready to leave this show. Not now, maybe not ever, because leaving it - _her_ \- pained him. He couldn't do it. He wouldn't.

:

Later on that evening, when the sky turned black, and the ocean calmed, he sat outside facing the beach. He didn't want to go home yet, but he didn't know where else he could go. His thoughts were racing, and all he wanted to do was turn his brain off and just... float, but he just couldn't.

He sighed, wishing that he could turn back the hands of time. Maybe if he could tell his overly eager, missguided thirty-two year old mistake that infatuation wasn't love and extravagant trips around the world weren't everything, then maybe things would be different. Maybe Danai would be his wife. Maybe, maybe, _maybe_. His thoughts ceased when he realized that he'd gotten his children from this, and maturity. He wouldn't be who he was today without marriage, unfortunately; he guessed life gave you bittersweet gifts.

"You know, I've found you sulking out here on this dock two years in a row," came the familiar voice of Danai. He averted his head around, and saw her standing there with the brightest smile on her face.

Andy just smirked, patting the empty spot next to him beckoning her to join him. "You left all those fine _Black Panther_ men to counsel this old man?"

" _This_ old man happens to be my best friend, and those guys are a'ight," Danai shrugged, resting her head on his shoulder.

They sat in silence for awhile, not saying much of anything to each other. It felt comfortable and right to them, and they knew that words weren't really needed to express anything between them. Their bond was terrifyingly close, and unlike anything else.

"I'm sorry about today," Andy finally said. "My baggage is a lot."

"You're more than your baggage. You're you, and you've got to stop putting yourself down. I've told you that if I didn't want this, there wouldn't be a _this_ ," she emphasized, brushing her hands through his loose curls. "But I know you. There's something on your mind."

Andy sighed, deep in his chest. He knew he couldn't hide anything from her. "I might have to leave the show," Andy breathed out, and then before he knew it, he was sobbing. He didn't know where his emotions were coming from, and he hadn't allowed himself to open up to _anyone_ about how he felt. Nobody would understand how much he loved doing what he did, and how it pained him.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know…," Andy trailed off. "Nobody's really - nobody's really cared to ask how I felt - feel - about it. I guess I didn't think anyone would."

"I care," Danai said simply. "So that's one person."

"How'd I get so lucky finding you?" He asked her in awe, his eyes shimmering as he stared at her.

Danai just laughed. "Pure luck, Clutterbuck."

:

 _ **November 2017**_

 _ **Danai**_

"I'm sorry," Danai breathed into the phone as she held onto the sides of the toilet bowl. "I know I was supposed to meet fans at -," she abruptly paused, upchucking into the bowl until her stomach was empty and her skin was flushed. "Sorry about that, I'll be there at eleven. Alright. Bye."

She hung up on James Frazier, the CEO and brain of the whole Walker Stalker con franchise. She was feeling _weird_ , but she didn't want to think about why she was feeling so damn weird. Her mind raced as she trudged to her closet, which was filled with skin tight tops and skirts, before falling to the ground. Her stomach felt upset once more, so she began to ponder it, the possibility that she _could_ be.

She wracked her mind and thought back to her last period; it'd been so long ago now that it was truly worrying.

"Fuck…," she muttered, holding her belly for dear life.

 _I can't be. I_ _ **can't**_ _be_.

She dug through her bag nervously, and found a pregnancy test laying on the very bottom of the bag. She breathed deeply, her hands shaking as she headed towards the bathroom. After peeing on the stick, and waiting the allotted amount of time, she nervously turned around the stick. Her eyes widened when she read the results, and she grabbed her phone off the countertop before scrolling down to Andy's number and delivering a text.

 _ **Andy, there's something I need to tell you.**_

 **The End?**

 **I know, I'm cruel. But I did say there'd be a sequel. Things aren't what they appear to be and there is a lot of material to cover. I'll start working on that story if anyone's interested in reading it. Happy 2019 everyone. God bless.**


End file.
